MIAMI – (Satire News) – iRumors is reporting that the mayor and city council of Miami have had it with whores wandering all over downtown and plying their trade in plain site of decent tourists, local citizens, and Haitian immigrants.
One MPD officer Dittler Pregunta (Badge #90890362) stated that he has arrested the same prostitute Velveeta Flaxington, 23, a total of 8 times in just one week.
He told Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors that Velveeta is very prolific at performing some of the most amazing hard-to-believe sex acts known to man.
In fact, twice in the past three years, she has been named The Top Whore in Miami.
SIDENOTE: The city council has just voted 9 to 1 to round up all of Miami’s whores, put them on Greyhound busses, and transport them over the state line to Alabama.