HARLEM, New York – (Sports Satire) – America’s premier exhibition basketball team has been around since 1926 (95 years), and they have decided that it's time to move.
The world-famous Harlem Globetrotters have voted to leave Harlem for the much more relaxed, serene, siesta scenes in Guadalajara, Mexico.
The new owners Jose and Juan Mexicali have guaranteed each player a yearly salary of 40 million pesos, which is $2 million in US currency.
The Mexicali brothers have also put into each player's contract that they will each receive 200 shares in the Guadalajara Bullring Coalition, 100 shares in the nation’s largest pinata maker, Pinatas “R” Us, and 75 shares in the Guadalajara Casa of Ill-Reputino.
The new owners are keeping the name Globetrotters, and they have also agreed to keep the red, white, and blue uniform colors, but they did state that they will be adding a fourth color; avocado green.
The Mexicali brothers have connections all over the world, and they have scheduled the new and improved Guadalajara Globetrotters to play games in Russia, China, Afghanistan, Zimbabwe, and Macadamia.
One of the players, “Sweet” Lou Dunbar said that he is going to love living n Guadalajara because they have one of he best soul food restaurants in all of North America, Paco’s Casa De Los Collard Greens.
And the first female Harlem Globetrotter, in it’s 95-year history, TNT Lister said that she has a boyfriend who works as a medic at the Guadalajara Bullring, so she is as happy as a rabbit in a carrot factory to be moving there.
In Other News. Weather forecasters have just announced that a category 4 hurricane has just formed off the coast of Panama and it could end up hitting Cincinnati, Ohio.