NASCAR Darling Danica Patrick is Getting Her Butt Back in The Driver’s Seat

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 24 May 2021

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Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine recently named Danica Patrick "The Sexiest Female Athlete in the USA."

GORGONZOLA CREEK, Wisconsin – (Sports News) – Sports Territory Magazine has just broken the scoop that the racing darling of NASCAR has decided to get back into the world of auto racing.

Danica Patrick, who is the ex-girlfriend of Green Bay Packers super star Aaron “The State Farm Kid” Rodgers, says she has never missed anything more than she misses auto racing; except for Aaron of course.

The 39-year-old fire cracking dynamo told STM reporter Tango Brisket that she recently took the tarp off of her #7 race car, and she actually took it for a spin on a local Walmart parking lot.

She commented that since the parking lot was a bit full, she was only able to get the car up to 125 mph.

Danica is thrilled that she has already picked up some major sponsors including Corona Light Beer, Bud Light Beer, Lowenbrau Light Beer, and La Muchacha Light Beer.

When asked by Brisket if she still misses her ex-sweetheart Rodgers, she dabbed away four tears and asked, “Is Lake Michigan wet?” “Is the North Pole cold?” And does a bullfighting bull have big balls?”

Meanwhile, the word is that a certain arrogant, sarcastic, anti-Danica NASCAR driver remarked, that little Miss Danica needs to stay in the kitchen and bake her cookies and brownies.

Bravo Network entertainment guru Andy Cohen revealed that the male driver’s initials are K.P. (Kyle Petty?).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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