MALIBU BEACH – (Sports Satire) – Aaron Rodgers says that he loves the Green Bay Packer fans – but quickly noted that he has had his fill with the harsh, horrendously cold Green Bay winter weather.
Rodgers told Buckaroo Kazoo with The Turnstile Review that to be perfectly honest, yes, he is fed up with Green Bay’s damn ice and snow.
He says that after several minus 28 degree nights this past winter, he now knows first hand, why no one has ever seen a photograph of an Eskimo smiling.
The man from the Allstate commercials commented, “Their lips are frozen solid for goodness sakes!”
Aaron’s post Danica Patrick girlfriend, and soon-to-be the first Mrs. Aaron Rodgers (Shailene Woodley) chimed in by saying that one night, it got so darn cold in their apartment, that she noticed that several of her perfume bottles had actually frozen.
Aaron laughed as he remarked that in his entire 37 years on this earth, he had never seen water in a toilet freeze until the night of January 13, 2021.
He then revealed that he is going to insist that he be traded to the Arizona Cardinals, the Dallas Cowboys, or the New Orleans Saints.
The super star who wears number 12, then pointed out that if the Packers don’t trade him, then he’ll just hang up his helmet, his cleats, and his crotch cup, and become the permanent host of television's game show Jeopardy.