Ole Solskjaer tells Klopp he's a 'tosser!'

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 18 January 2021

image for Ole Solskjaer tells Klopp he's a 'tosser!'
They're right bunch of footy 'Vankers!' Claims Ole Solskjaer, and Klopp is the biggest!!

(NOT EDITED) After their drab, dire, boring, super-footy-show yesterday, the Manchester United manager has come out and verbally attacked (maybe he should have done that on the pitch at Anfield) the Liverpool FC manager, Klopp!

"Juergen, you are a German tosser who couldn't punch his way out of a wet paper bag!" Claimed Solskjaer after Klopp's team failed to shoot once at United's bored Spanish goalie, De Gea.

Klopp retaliated immediately as all insulted German footy managers tend to do,

"Ole, you are a Norwegian vanker who doesn't know ze first zing about winning fings because you failed in Cardiff, was a substitute all your life when playing, and now you dare call me a vanker! How dare you, Scheiss Kerl!"

Ole responded in his best Prussian dialect, "Klopp, du bist ein Stuck Scheisse!"

Roy Keane, ex United, controversial, Irish 'leg-breaker', giving comments on Sky, heard the altercation and gave the following comment in his Irish brogue dialect,

"You both are mega-wankers, you do not deserve to manage either Liverpool or United and should give the job to me, because I got relegated with Ipswich Town and Sunderland, never won a dicky bird as Ireland's co-manager, and I have so much experience being an all-time manager loser, you pair can't even do that, lose that is!"

Solskjaer and Klopp have apologised to the footy world for being a pair of boring tossers and have promised to put on a fantastic show of attacking footy in next week's cup battle!

Hope is eternal, but the football world is expecting a penalty shoot-out to at least wake up both goalkeepers after 120 minutes of dire ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ footy!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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