NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Jets coach Adam Gase was asked if he is ready for the season to be over. He looked at Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine, and replied that he was ready for the season to be over six weeks ago.
The Jets record now stands at a pitiful (0-12). At the start of the season, the Jets were averaging 9,000 paying fans per game.
The latest Jets loss was to the Las Vegas Raiders, 31 to 28, before a crowd of 17 paying fans, including two nuns from St. Lolita of Holy Capricorn Church, who managed to scalp two tickets for $4 each.
The president of the New York Jets fan club, Ambrosia Zumpy 66, told the Right Coast Revue, that the fan club membership has dropped by 87%.
Zumpy also noted that the Jets football jerseys have gone down in price from $99 to $2.
4th-string kicker, Wellington Twizbay, asked permission from Coach Gase, if he could just stay home with his family, who had flown in from New Zealand. The coach told him what the hell, stay home.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Zumpy, who has been president of the Jets fan club since 1993, has turned in her resignation, and says she is going to have to get herself some serious therapy.