DALLAS – (Sports Satire) – After most Dallas Cowboys fans had their Thanksgiving Turkey meal at home, they drove to Cowboy Stadium, where they saw lots and lots of turkeys dressed in white, gray, and blue Dallas uniforms.
The Cowpokes just cannot seem to be able to find the right recipe to win. As Kitty Segovia, with the iNews Agency remarked, the Cow Dudes are playing as if they have no earthly desire to win.
Cowboys Coach Mike McCarthy, was so embarrassed, that, during most of the fourth quarter, he was hanging out in one of the many men's restrooms.
Quarterback Andy Dalton was actually seen standing in line, getting himself an order of diet tamales, with 4 minutes left to go in the game.
After the game, Kitty Segovia spoke to Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who told her that he should have sold the team to the late sexual pervert, Jeffrey Epstein, who wanted to purchase it three years ago.
Jones expressed to Missy Segovia, that he has been stressed out so damn much lately, that he can’t even make love to his wife without stopping in the middle and pounding his fist in anger into one of their nine pillows.
Meanwhile, TMZ, has reported that Jerry’s wife, Eugenia, and one of her girlfriends, may take a three-month worldwide cruise.
Eugenia recently told Anderson Cooper that she really needs to get away from all the negativity that the team is putting her 78-year-old husband through.
SIDENOTE: The Cowboys were clobbered 41-16, in their own stadium.