NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) - Fans of number one-ranked University of Alabama (8-0) are holding their collective breaths, as the Crimson Tide is being investigated for possible collegiate violations.
Johnny Mariachi, director of the NCAA’s Rules, Policies, and Practices Federation, has noted that they received an anonymous text stating that at least half of the Tide players are using medical masks that were manufactured in Afghanistan, and are, therefore, illegal.
Third-string ‘Bama quarterback, Bruno Picasso, said that the charge is drummed up by number two-ranked (9-0), Norte Dame, in an effort to get the Crimson Tide disqualified, thus allowing the Fighting Irish to move up to first place.
Sports Bet Gazette reporter Zorro La Bamba said that Norte Dame cheerleader, Minnie May Driftwax has a twin brother, Luigi Driftwax, who is the Crimson Tide kicker, and so she knows first-hand that the University of Alabama did, in fact, purchase the illegal masks from Afghanistan.
Meanwhile, the third-ranked Clemson Tigers, who are (8-1), are reportedly trying to find something illegal that the Norte Dame Fighting Irish may have done.
