WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Sports Satire) - The NCAA powers that be are considering cancelling the entire collegiate football season.
The president is telling his advisers that Saturday college pigskin football is as traditionally American as him being able to grab GOP women by their privates and not face any consequences whatsoever.
Trump made it clear that he will stop all collegiate funding if the NCAA cancels the football season. He was heard on an hot open mic saying that Trump University would get funding no matter what.
Kimberly Guilfoyle, who has made it known that she really and truly finds POTUS to be one of the most handsome and sexiest men in the entire country, loves telling the president that she used to be a college cheerleader.
When Trump asked her for a cheer she instantly kicked off her six-inch stiletto heels and yelled, "Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar, score a touchdown and you can play with my poller." *
Fox News recently reported that Trump had mentioned, off-the-record, to one of their reporters, that if he wasn’t married to Melania, and Kimberly wasn’t Trump Jr’s., girlfriend, he would grab the Puerto Rican princess in places that even she doesn’t know she has.
* Poller is an old Pisagovian word which means vagina.