LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) – The Chicks (formerly the Dixie Chicks) held a telethon to raise money for firefighting equipment.
Lead singer Natalie Maines told Cowbell Notes Music Magazine that donations came in from every state in the union, except for Alabama.
She noted that Alabama is one of the reddest states in the entire nation, pointing out that, after Trump won the Electoral College vote, thousands of Alabamian mamas named their baby boys Donnie Johnnie, in honor of the president.
A telethon spokesperson said that the entire $27 million will go to purchase water hoses, fire boots, safety nets, and hundreds of Dalmatian fire dogs.
Cowbell Notes Music Magazine noted that also performing on the telethon were Lada Gaga, LaQuanda Missy Miss Ho Ho, Bob Dylan, WD-40, Keith Urban, and standup comedian Zydeco Dupree.