HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – According to Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine, Astros outfielder George Springer no longer wants to play for the Astros.
Springer, who is now a free agent, spoke with SBIM’s Dottie Bazooka, and told her that there are several reasons why he is done with the Astros.
He pointed out that, for one thing, the mosquito infestation in Houston is second only to the Gigantico Mosquito Swamp located deep in the Amazon Jungle.
George also pointed out that being from Connecticut, he misses the changing of the leaves.
He stressed that another reason is because the Sign-Stealing Scandal of 2017, really and truly embarrassed the hell out of him, and to this day, one of his nephews refers to him as Uncle Sign-Stealer.
Houston Astros owner Jim Crane is reportedly trying to work out a deal with the Boston Red Sox, to trade the very unhappy free-agent Springer to the BoSox for 7 players and a 2021 Lamborghini.