NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has said that he regrets to announce that he has decided to postpone the game between the Titans and the Steelers.
Goodell said that medical tests showed that 13 Titans players had come down with stomach poisoning.
Titans coach Mike Vrabel told the Sports Bet Gazette that several of his players had eaten at a Won Hung Lo Chinese Restaurant in downtown Nashville.
He pointed out that some players who ate fortune cookies tested positive for Estomagotitis.
Esto, as medical experts refer to it, is carried by a tiny 10-legged purple bug which can work its way into molars, and cause tremendous pain, itching, and the urge to not have sex for weeks.
Goodell said that although the players have been placed in quarantine, some of the other Titans may possibly still have the virus stirring around in their nether regions.
So, to err on the side of caution, the game will be played at a later date, but without fans, cheerleaders, security guards, and beer vendors.