The Seattle Seahawks Didn’t Need The 12th Man To Defeat The Dallas Cowboys

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 28 September 2020

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The Women's Lives Matter organization wants Seattle to change the slogan to "Home of the 12th Person."

SEATTLE – (Sports Satire) – The Seattle Seahawks defeated the Dallas Cowboys 38 to 31, before an empty stadium.

Seahawks coach Pete Carroll pointed out that the team did not need the help of the 12th man.

The 12th man refers to the team’s fans, who usually yell at the top of their lungs, throughout the entire game, driving the opposing quarterbacks crazy.

ESPN-4 pointed out that Seattle Seahawks fan Francisco "Lungs" Windwater was recorded in 2016, hitting a decibel level of 127, which is equivalent to a construction site jack hammer.

The Seattle Seahawks did not originate the 12th man. The history of the 12th man goes back to 1922, when Horatio Horowitz was screaming so loud for his Texas A&M Aggies, that one of his tonsils popped out, hitting his grandmother Bertha in the back of her head.

The Cowboys blew a bunch of opportunities, and could not seem to contain the Seahawks receivers, who ran by them as if they were standing there waiting for a city bus.

The Dallas staff member who holds a Gatorade container and shoots the liquid into the mouths of the Cowboy players, remarked to a security guard, that his 6-year-old son, Jimmy Joey, could have done a better job of covering the Seattle receivers.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was not a happy camper, and at the end of the game he was heard to yell out “Sumbitch!!!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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