The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Say Their Cheering Definitely Makes The Cowboys Play Better

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 19 September 2020

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Every Dallas Cowboys cheerleader must be able to speak English, Spanish, and Yiddish.

DALLAS – (Sports Satire) – CBS Sports has stated that it’s no secret that the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders are the best cheerleaders in all of sports.

It’s been noted by many sports writers that the “Rah Rah Girls”, as comedian Zydeco Dupree has christened them, definitely hold the key to the team playing better by cheering them on with an extremely spirited determination.

Presidential candidate Joe Biden recently commented to CNN’s Anderson Cooper, that those Dallas cheerleading babes positively know how to jiggle, wiggle, and fa shizzle, better than even the New York City Rockettes.

One of the leading experts on NFL cheerleaders, Algonquin Silverapple, who wrote the definitive book on cheerleading, titled “Give Me An F”, said that 31% of all American males would rather get it on with a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader than with any one of the five sultry Kardashian sisters.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones noted that many of his players have actually told him that hearing the cheerleaders cheering them on definitely makes them play harder and better.

Jerry Jones does, however, have a very strict policy that prohibits any of his players from dating the cheerleaders.

When told by a reporter for CBS Sports that his quarterback, Dak Prescott, is currently dating one of the hottest, prettiest, sexiest Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, Jones grinned and said, "It's just an unfounded rumor…a big fat lie, to use a current political expression."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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