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Funny satire stories about New England Patriots

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Funny story: Viral video shows football coach exhibiting human behavior

Viral video shows football coach exhibiting human behavior

The Primatology World is abuzz this morning over a video that captured New England Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick take hold of the wrist of Quarterback Mac Jones and lead him away at the conclusion of the football game last Sunday. The video, sho…

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Funny story: The Real Reasons Why The New England Patriots Released QB Cam Newton

The Real Reasons Why The New England Patriots Released QB Cam Newton

GILLETTE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – Many sports pundits had predicted that NFL quarterback, Cam Newton was bound to get cut by the Patriots. The rumors around the locker room were that the Pats powers-that-be and Coach Bilichick, were just…

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Funny story: President Biden Signs a Presidential Executive Order Pardoning The New England Patriots, The New Orleans Saints, and The Houston Astros

President Biden Signs a Presidential Executive Order Pardoning The New England Patriots, The New Orleans Saints, and The Houston Astros

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki announced at the latest press conference, that the president has decided to issue a PEO (Presidential Executive Order) which will pardon three professional sports teams. Jen…

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Funny story: Little Billy Belichick and his women: The Genius Life

Little Billy Belichick and his women: The Genius Life

Back in 1976, Debbie Clark Belichick made the team! Coach Bill’s home team that is! She won the job of starting 1st mate, and she managed to keep it for almost 30 years. But that’s not her sole claim to fame. Debbie is a great success in her own righ…

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Funny story: Watertown Man demands chance to start at QB for the Pats

Watertown Man demands chance to start at QB for the Pats

Mark Pettiglio is a good natured, easy-going guy – most of the time that is. His disposition soured after watching Cam Newton play quarterback for his favorite team last season. Mark wasn’t impressed. “He was missing on passes behind the line of…

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Funny story: Wiggins comes clean on his “lost daddy” complex

Wiggins comes clean on his “lost daddy” complex

After years of therapy, Jermaine “Wiggy” Wiggins has made a major breakthrough. On the Greg Hill morning radio show this morning, Wiggy announced he’s just gone through a life altering change, realizing his fixation for certain NFL players stem fr…

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Funny story: Tom Brady: I Want to Play in Shitty Markets Until I’m 50

Tom Brady: I Want to Play in Shitty Markets Until I’m 50

He has six Super Bowl rings and 14 Pro Bowl appearances. And he’s a shoo-in for the Pro Football Hall of Fame. But don’t expect Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback and New England Patriots legend Tom Brady to hang up his bulky knee brace anytime…

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Funny story: The Once-Proud New England Patriots Football Dynasty Is Now Kaput

The Once-Proud New England Patriots Football Dynasty Is Now Kaput

FOXBORO, Massachusetts - (Sports Satire) – Many sports publications are reporting that the once-proud New England Patriots have crumbed, and their dynasty is no more. The Boston Addresser Chronicle, reports that the downward spiral started when t…

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Funny story: A Little 7-Year-Old Girl In Peru Has a Collection of over 9,000 Tom Brady Football Trading Cards

A Little 7-Year-Old Girl In Peru Has a Collection of over 9,000 Tom Brady Football Trading Cards

LLAMAVILLE, Peru – (Sports Satire) – Little Fabiola Pampana is only seven years old, but she has what is believed to be the largest collection of Tom Brady football trading cards in the world, numbering over 9,000. Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Ball…

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Funny story: New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Admits The Pats May Have to Scrap Their Season

New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Admits The Pats May Have to Scrap Their Season

GILLETTE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – A very somber Coach Bill Belichick told sports reporters that the Coronavirus has really had a heavy impact on his team. He noted that Cam Newton, Stephon Gilmore, and several other players, as well as s…

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Funny story: New England Patriots Quarterback Cam Newton Stricken With Painful Jaw Cramps

New England Patriots Quarterback Cam Newton Stricken With Painful Jaw Cramps

GILLETTE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – Reports filtering out of the Patriots camp say that Cam Newton will be placed on the injured reserve list. The flamboyant quarterback is reportedly suffering from what is described as a form of the Carib…

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Funny story: New England Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Is Considering Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Offer To Purchase The Team

New England Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Is Considering Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Offer To Purchase The Team

BOSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Boston Evening Moon newspaper is reporting that Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, has received an offer from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to purchase the team. Kraft recently told Sports Illustrated magaz…

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Funny story: New England Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Has Just Had The Drug Charges Against Him Dropped

New England Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Has Just Had The Drug Charges Against Him Dropped

BOSTON – (Sports Satire) – The district attorney of Boston has just made New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft one very happy man. The Pats owner was told that the charges stemming from his visit to the Asian House of Hornyism, and allegedly com…

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Funny story: Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Tom Brady Says He’s Not Happy With Coach Bruce Arians

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Tom Brady Says He’s Not Happy With Coach Bruce Arians

TAMPA BAY – (Sports Satire) – Future Hall of Famer Tom Brady has never been one to take criticism lightly. Some years ago, he got upset with Patriots Coach Bill Belichick, when the coach told him that he needed to stop cussing at his teammates in…

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Funny story: The New England Patriots are Caught Purchasing Illegal Football Helmets

The New England Patriots are Caught Purchasing Illegal Football Helmets

BOSTON – (Sports Satire) - Two NFL teams who have been caught cheating the most are the New Orleans Saints and the New England Patriots. And now reports out of NFL headquarters say that the Patriots are at it again. Sporting Chance Magazine rep…

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Funny story: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Wants To Purchase The New England Patriots

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Wants To Purchase The New England Patriots

BOSTON – (Sports Satire) - Dwayne Johnson recently met with the owner of the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft, and the two talked about wrestling, movie-making, and the 79-year-old Kraft’s penchant for much younger women; women who many refer to as…

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Funny story: The New England Patriots Have Just Signed Cam Newton To Replace Tom Brady

The New England Patriots Have Just Signed Cam Newton To Replace Tom Brady

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – There is joy in Bean Town today, as free agent quarterback, Cam Newton, has just been signed by the New England Patriots. The ex-Carolina Panther was thrilled beyond belief. He told his agent that he is as happy as kang…

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