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Funny satire stories about New England Patriots

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Funny story: Tom Brady: I Want to Play in Shitty Markets Until I’m 50

Tom Brady: I Want to Play in Shitty Markets Until I’m 50

He has six Super Bowl rings and 14 Pro Bowl appearances. And he’s a shoo-in for the Pro Football Hall of Fame. But don’t expect Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback and New England Patriots legend Tom Brady to hang up his bulky knee brace anytime…

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Funny story: The Once-Proud New England Patriots Football Dynasty Is Now Kaput

The Once-Proud New England Patriots Football Dynasty Is Now Kaput

FOXBORO, Massachusetts - (Sports Satire) – Many sports publications are reporting that the once-proud New England Patriots have crumbed, and their dynasty is no more. The Boston Addresser Chronicle, reports that the downward spiral started when t…

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Funny story: A Little 7-Year-Old Girl In Peru Has a Collection of over 9,000 Tom Brady Football Trading Cards

A Little 7-Year-Old Girl In Peru Has a Collection of over 9,000 Tom Brady Football Trading Cards

LLAMAVILLE, Peru – (Sports Satire) – Little Fabiola Pampana is only seven years old, but she has what is believed to be the largest collection of Tom Brady football trading cards in the world, numbering over 9,000. Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Ball…

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Funny story: New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Admits The Pats May Have to Scrap Their Season

New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Admits The Pats May Have to Scrap Their Season

GILLETTE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – A very somber Coach Bill Belichick told sports reporters that the Coronavirus has really had a heavy impact on his team. He noted that Cam Newton, Stephon Gilmore, and several other players, as well as s…

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Funny story: New England Patriots Quarterback Cam Newton Stricken With Painful Jaw Cramps

New England Patriots Quarterback Cam Newton Stricken With Painful Jaw Cramps

GILLETTE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – Reports filtering out of the Patriots camp say that Cam Newton will be placed on the injured reserve list. The flamboyant quarterback is reportedly suffering from what is described as a form of the Carib…

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Funny story: New England Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Is Considering Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Offer To Purchase The Team

New England Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Is Considering Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s Offer To Purchase The Team

BOSTON – (Sports Satire) – The Boston Evening Moon newspaper is reporting that Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, has received an offer from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to purchase the team. Kraft recently told Sports Illustrated magaz…

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Funny story: New England Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Has Just Had The Drug Charges Against Him Dropped

New England Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Has Just Had The Drug Charges Against Him Dropped

BOSTON – (Sports Satire) – The district attorney of Boston has just made New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft one very happy man. The Pats owner was told that the charges stemming from his visit to the Asian House of Hornyism, and allegedly com…

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Funny story: Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Tom Brady Says He’s Not Happy With Coach Bruce Arians

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Tom Brady Says He’s Not Happy With Coach Bruce Arians

TAMPA BAY – (Sports Satire) – Future Hall of Famer Tom Brady has never been one to take criticism lightly. Some years ago, he got upset with Patriots Coach Bill Belichick, when the coach told him that he needed to stop cussing at his teammates in…

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Funny story: The New England Patriots are Caught Purchasing Illegal Football Helmets

The New England Patriots are Caught Purchasing Illegal Football Helmets

BOSTON – (Sports Satire) - Two NFL teams who have been caught cheating the most are the New Orleans Saints and the New England Patriots. And now reports out of NFL headquarters say that the Patriots are at it again. Sporting Chance Magazine rep…

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Funny story: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Wants To Purchase The New England Patriots

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Wants To Purchase The New England Patriots

BOSTON – (Sports Satire) - Dwayne Johnson recently met with the owner of the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft, and the two talked about wrestling, movie-making, and the 79-year-old Kraft’s penchant for much younger women; women who many refer to as…

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Funny story: The New England Patriots Have Just Signed Cam Newton To Replace Tom Brady

The New England Patriots Have Just Signed Cam Newton To Replace Tom Brady

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – There is joy in Bean Town today, as free agent quarterback, Cam Newton, has just been signed by the New England Patriots. The ex-Carolina Panther was thrilled beyond belief. He told his agent that he is as happy as kang…

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Funny story: Free Agent Nick Folk Says He Wants to Join Ex-Teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Down in Tampa Bay

Free Agent Nick Folk Says He Wants to Join Ex-Teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Down in Tampa Bay

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – Nick Folk has been an NFL kicker for 12 years, and he is currently a free agent, having been released by the New England Patriots. Folk has expressed a strong desire to join ex-teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski wit...

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Funny story: The New England Patriots Plane Travels To China and Returns with N95 Medical Masks, Fortune Cookies, and Frozen Crab Rangoon Dinners

The New England Patriots Plane Travels To China and Returns with N95 Medical Masks, Fortune Cookies, and Frozen Crab Rangoon Dinners

BOSTON – New England Patriots owner, Robert Kraft, is being hailed as a hero in his home state of Massachusetts, the birth state of Paul Revere, Edgar Allan Poe, and Tarzan. The Boston Addresser-Chronicle reports that Kraft talked to Chinese leade...

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Funny story: Tom Brady Demands To Be Traded

Tom Brady Demands To Be Traded

FOXBORO, Massachusetts – Tom Brady has stunned the football world as he has finally admitted that he has informed the New England Patriots organization that he is demanding to be traded. The Sporting Balls Review reported that Brady’s chauffeur ov...

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Funny story: New England Patriots' Tom Brady Urges Spoof Writer Not To Bother

New England Patriots' Tom Brady Urges Spoof Writer Not To Bother

New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, fresh from an embarrassing 27-24 home defeat at the hands of the Miami Dolphins yesterday, which pitches the team into their first post-season Wild Card game since 2009, has warned journalists not to write...

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Funny story: Bill Belichick Leaving Patriots To Join Green Leaf Cannabis, Ltd.

Bill Belichick Leaving Patriots To Join Green Leaf Cannabis, Ltd.

BILLINGSGATE POST: Bill Belichick, head coach for the New England Patriots, announced today that he is leaving the Patriots, effective immediately, to join Green Leaf Cannabis, Ltd. Belichick, whose resume includes six Super Bowl victories with t...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire’s Balls Fail Test: Heads To Fall In New “Deflategate”

Harry Maguire’s Balls Fail Test: Heads To Fall In New “Deflategate”

BILLINGSGATE POST: Managing Director of the Premier League, Richard Masters, announced today that Harry Maguire’s balls were tested by ACME Ball Evaluators, a subsidiary of the ACME Corporation. The results, Masters revealed, showed evidence of pre...

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