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Funny satire stories about New England Patriots

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Funny story: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Wants To Purchase The New England Patriots

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Wants To Purchase The New England Patriots

BOSTON – (Sports Satire) - Dwayne Johnson recently met with the owner of the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft, and the two talked about wrestling, movie-making, and the 79-year-old Kraft’s penchant for much younger women; women who many refer to as…

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Funny story: The New England Patriots Have Just Signed Cam Newton To Replace Tom Brady

The New England Patriots Have Just Signed Cam Newton To Replace Tom Brady

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – There is joy in Bean Town today, as free agent quarterback, Cam Newton, has just been signed by the New England Patriots. The ex-Carolina Panther was thrilled beyond belief. He told his agent that he is as happy as kang…

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Funny story: Free Agent Nick Folk Says He Wants to Join Ex-Teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Down in Tampa Bay

Free Agent Nick Folk Says He Wants to Join Ex-Teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Down in Tampa Bay

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – Nick Folk has been an NFL kicker for 12 years, and he is currently a free agent, having been released by the New England Patriots. Folk has expressed a strong desire to join ex-teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski wit...

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Funny story: The New England Patriots Plane Travels To China and Returns with N95 Medical Masks, Fortune Cookies, and Frozen Crab Rangoon Dinners

The New England Patriots Plane Travels To China and Returns with N95 Medical Masks, Fortune Cookies, and Frozen Crab Rangoon Dinners

BOSTON – New England Patriots owner, Robert Kraft, is being hailed as a hero in his home state of Massachusetts, the birth state of Paul Revere, Edgar Allan Poe, and Tarzan. The Boston Addresser-Chronicle reports that Kraft talked to Chinese leade...

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Funny story: Tom Brady Demands To Be Traded

Tom Brady Demands To Be Traded

FOXBORO, Massachusetts – Tom Brady has stunned the football world as he has finally admitted that he has informed the New England Patriots organization that he is demanding to be traded. The Sporting Balls Review reported that Brady’s chauffeur ov...

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Funny story: New England Patriots' Tom Brady Urges Spoof Writer Not To Bother

New England Patriots' Tom Brady Urges Spoof Writer Not To Bother

New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, fresh from an embarrassing 27-24 home defeat at the hands of the Miami Dolphins yesterday, which pitches the team into their first post-season Wild Card game since 2009, has warned journalists not to write...

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Funny story: Bill Belichick Leaving Patriots To Join Green Leaf Cannabis, Ltd.

Bill Belichick Leaving Patriots To Join Green Leaf Cannabis, Ltd.

BILLINGSGATE POST: Bill Belichick, head coach for the New England Patriots, announced today that he is leaving the Patriots, effective immediately, to join Green Leaf Cannabis, Ltd. Belichick, whose resume includes six Super Bowl victories with t...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire’s Balls Fail Test: Heads To Fall In New “Deflategate”

Harry Maguire’s Balls Fail Test: Heads To Fall In New “Deflategate”

BILLINGSGATE POST: Managing Director of the Premier League, Richard Masters, announced today that Harry Maguire’s balls were tested by ACME Ball Evaluators, a subsidiary of the ACME Corporation. The results, Masters revealed, showed evidence of pre...

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Funny story: American football Patriots get stuffed by England Rugby team!

American football Patriots get stuffed by England Rugby team!

'Rugger' is a real men's sport: Cauliflower ears, broken ribs, noses, black eyes (not painted ones), no protective gear, jock-straps covering 'cojones', scrums and tough cookies (not the internet type) crashing and smashing into each other. Americ...

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Funny story: Super Bowl Bores Fans Rigid

Super Bowl Bores Fans Rigid

The New England Patriots overcame the Los Angeles Rams to become the Super Bowl victors for a record-equalling sixth time, in what was one of the most tedious matches of football many spectators could remember. The final result - 13-3 - tells the...

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Funny story: Super Bowl Set For A Frenzy Of 'Knee-Taking'

Super Bowl Set For A Frenzy Of 'Knee-Taking'

Super Bowl 53 kicks off at 6:30pm (eastern time) this evening, and, aside from all the excitement over the occasion itself, there's massive interest over the prospect of all the players from both teams 'taking the knee' during the playing of the nati...

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Funny story: L.A. Rams and New England Patriots Book Time to Meet With Obama

L.A. Rams and New England Patriots Book Time to Meet With Obama

Representatives of both the Rams and the Patriots talked to President Obama's people about the winner of the Super Bowl visiting Obama afterwards. This is following the example of the Golden State Warriors, who met with Obama following their NBA Cham...

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Funny story: Super Bowl 2019: A Beginner's Guide

Super Bowl 2019: A Beginner's Guide

To many people, it's the most exciting sport on Earth - American Football - and, when the ball is booted into play in Super Bowl 53 on Sunday 3 February, about 50billion people around the world will tune in to watch. As well as being exciting, it'...

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Funny story: Patriots Award Naming Rights to Amazon

Patriots Award Naming Rights to Amazon

Boston, Ma - The New England Patriots have awarded team naming rights to Amazon.com. The team formerly known as the Pats will now be called the Amazons. All players are required to take on Amazon as their last name. Quarterback Tom Amazon initial...

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Funny story: Brady - Belichick Wife Swap Falls Through

Brady - Belichick Wife Swap Falls Through

BILLINGSGATE POST: Today, Slim Everdingle, spokesperson for the NFL, announced that the pending wife-swap between New England Patriots' Tom Brady and Coach Bill Belichick did not meet league rules governing such trades. Citing "technical difficul...

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Funny story: Blake Bortles takes bus to New England, Jaguars don't trust him through the air

Blake Bortles takes bus to New England, Jaguars don't trust him through the air

There is breaking news in the world of professional sports transportation. According to NFL analyst Adam Schefter, Jacksonville Jaguars Quarterback Blake Bortles will be not be traveling with the team on their flight to New England. Instead he will b...

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Funny story: Patriots Fighting Deportation After Renouncing US Citizenship

Patriots Fighting Deportation After Renouncing US Citizenship

Several more New England Patriots have renounced their US citizenship in protest of President Trump's incendiary comments on minorities and immigrants--now they are being threatened with deportation by the president himself. Devin McCourty was th...

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