NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Makes a Big Announcement Regarding The Black Lives Matter Movement

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 16 September 2020

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Roger Goodell says he'll run the NFL and Trump can run the country.

NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell spoke with members of the sports media on the ongoing controversy regarding the kneeling issue.

The commissioner wanted to point out that he has ruled that those players who want to kneel can kneel, and those who don’t can stand, or text on their cell phones, or even do sit-ups.

Goodell pointed out that this is still America, and not Siberia.

When Goodell was told that President Trump does not want to see any players kneeling during the National Anthem, he replied that he doesn’t give a rat’s ass what he thinks.

The commissioner then remarked, “Look, it’s like LeBron James pointed out, Trump needs to worry about the Coronavirus, his taxes, his mask-less campaign pep rallies, and the fact that Melania is getting ready to divorce his ass.”

Goodell then noted that if President Abraham Lincoln had spent as much time worrying about football as Trump has, he would not have had any time to deal with the ongoing Civil War crisis; and today, our nation would be known as the United States of the Confederacy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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