Horford Blasts Team for Early Exit: It’s all About Booty

Funny story written by Charles Havers

Wednesday, 26 August 2020

The Philadelphia 76’s, one of the most talented but underperforming teams in the Eastern Conference, had another early playoff exit. This one really stung as the 76’s were swept in four games by the Boston Celtics, their long-time conference rival.

Veteran center/forward Al Horford blasted his teammates for their lack of effort and focus. According to Horford, the 76’s problem has nothing to do with talent or coaching. It’s all about women:

“In the past, they [the players] been booty hunting when they should have been focused on basketball.”

According to Horford, that’s bad enough, but this year, there’s nothing to chase, and that’s even worse. They’re locked away in the bubble, and “all they want to do is get out.”

Another player, who wished to remain anonymous, agreed that Horford had a point, but defended himself and his teammates, noting that even the officials were feeling the strain, as evidenced by the number of fouls and technicals they have called.

The bubble is obviously tough on everyone, but NBA commissioner, Adam Silver, is feeling a different sort of strain as he continues to patronize Orlando area strip clubs in his effort to locate NBA players who might be breaking the rules.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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