Mike Tyson Agrees To Fight Roy Jones Jr in the Battle of the Oldies

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 24 July 2020

image for Mike Tyson Agrees To Fight Roy Jones Jr in the Battle of the Oldies
Roy Jones says that he has taken out a $2 million insurance policy on his ears.

SANTA MONICA BEACH, California (Sport Comedy) – One of the greatest boxers to ever lace ‘em up, has agreed to a match with Roy Jones Jr.

“Iron” Mike Tyson will be fighting in what promoters are calling “The Battle of The Oldies”.

Tyson is 54, and Jones is a mere whippersnapper at 51.

Mike was asked what his strategy will be. He replied, “Hey, youse guys know dat I nebba had no stragie, when de bell she ring, I just commence to poundin’ dee eber libbin’ hell outta my opponent dat just be what I does and all.”

Mike says he has managed to stay fit by eating 40 diet fish sticks a day, and doing at least 710 sit ups each night while he watches CNN’s Don Lemon.

The promoters, who also promote nude badminton and senior citizen pole vaulting, have said that the two pugilists will be fighting three 55-second rounds.

The California Athletic Boxing Commission has made it perfectly clear to Tyson, that if he even thinks about biting Roy’s ears, knees, or any intimate body part, he will be immediately disqualified.

Roy has said that he will take the winning amount, and open up a restaurant he's gonna call, The Black Lives Matter Barbecue Joint.

The winner will receive a cashier's check for $1.3 million, and the loser will be paid $4,000 in cash, plus he’ll be given a Greyhound bus ticket to return to his home town.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more