Cobwebs have been dusted down in Liverpoop's trophy room to accommodate their latest success, the Premier League trophy.
After 30 years enviously looking east toward Manchester, where City and United won nearly everything, Liverpoop, unlike Arsenal, perennial losers, can now join the elite club of Premier League winners, including Arsenal, but that was so long ago, even the cobwebs look ancient!
However, there was a slight dent to celebrations in Liverpoop last night; in the stadium, due to the Coronavirus, there was only Gerry and the Pacemakers singing that awful tune, and outside the stadium a bunch of loyal Liverpoop loonies decided to crash the party by sending thousands of fireworks into the scouse sky, which caused so much noise inside, that Chelsea, their opponents, crapped in their shorts and surrendered pathetically.
After the game, televised on SKY, a global Exodus of viewers was recorded, as millions of Liverpoop-haters could not stand the sight of a Geordie lad lifting the trophy in an empty stadium. They were mostly global fans of the 'red side' of Manchester.
German Liverpoop manager, Juergen Klopp, branding his bright white false teeth, declared on global TV, "Ich bin ein Scouser", just like Kennedy did in Berlin.
The football world now hopes that no fanatic-ultra-United fan decides to do a 'Lee Harvey Oswald' whilst Klopp is riding through Liverpool on an open-top bus!