Ghost Of Former Liverpool Manager Bill Shankly Seen Hovering Around Premier League Offices

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 15 March 2020

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A few sniffles wouldn't have been enough to stop Shankly

Bill Shankly, the former Liverpool manager who steered the Reds to massive success in the 1960s and 70s, has been seen hovering around the offices of the English Premier League, making a nuisance of himself.

Or rather, his ghost has.

Executives at the PL met in London on Friday, to discuss the spread of the Coronavirus, and its implications for players, staff and fans, and decided that a 3-week break until early April would be a good idea.

In reality, however, 21 days is nothing to a deadly virus.

It can wait.

The real implication, is that the season may end up being declared null and void, as if it had never happened, which would mean there would be no promotions or relegations, and Liverpool would not be crowned Premier League winners, as it is still mathematically possible that they could be caught.

Mr. Shankly, who died aged 68 in 1981, was the man who came up with the much-used quote that:

"Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I'm very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you, it is much, much more important than that."

With this in mind, Shankly - in spirit form - was down at the PL offices making his presence felt, in a bid to persuade officials to end the lay-off at the earliest opportunity, so that the Reds can win their first title in 30 years, as is right and proper.

If their players aren't all coughing, sneezing, and gasping for breath, that is.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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