BILLINGSGATE POST: Pending dual approval by British Chancellor of the Exchequer, Sajid Javier and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, the UFC showdown between suspended Manchester United defenseman Harry Maguire and Prince Charles has been set for October 6, 2019.
Nicknamed “The Battle of The Under-Employed” because both contestants are currently not working - Maguire suspended from Manchester United for playing with his under-inflated balls, and Prince Charles, for never having had a real job in his life.
Because Prince Charles is a mild mannered man, known to avoid contact at all costs, eyebrows have been raised in sporting circles about his ability to take a punch.
Maguire, who has perhaps taken too many headers, said of Charles: “He can run, but he can’t hide.”
Both fighters are known as “bleeders.” In fighting parlance, this means they cut easily when hit.
Because of this, both the Red Cross (to collect blood, of course) and the British Anti-Vivisectionist Society will be at ringside.
Slim: “Could be as great a fight as the Jack Dempsey versus Luis Angel Firpo Heavyweight fight in Madison Square Garden back in 1923.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. You weren’t even born then. WTF you be talkin ‘bout?”