Fear Of Youth

Funny story written by Backandtotheleft

Sunday, 6 January 2019

A crisis of confidence has gripped youth players across the world’s top leagues. With the news that Manchester United have sacked manager, Jose Mourinho, there is now a real fear that he could rock up at any of the world’s top clubs and ruin their youth systems.
A record 65% of players under the age of 23 have been admitted for treatment for ailments such as: insomnia, anxiety and depression.

One player, contracted to Juventus, had to be talked out of a suicidal jump after a social media post joked that Mourinho was being lined up to replace current incumbent, Max Allegri, in the summer.

Jose has often defended his track record with playing youth, but each of the youngsters knows what fate is in store for them if he joins their club. Reserve team football after he buys Matic.

Andrea Stormoccil, 18, a youth team player for AC Milan said:

"These last few weeks have been hellish. You just don’t know if one morning you’re going to walking into training, see him stood there and just instantly know your career is over."

Andrea started crying, but we didn’t know what to do, as human emotion was difficult for us to comprehend these days.

Luckily for players across the world, Mourinho has said he intends to take the rest of the season off before coming back to a “fresh challenge”. A fresh challenge of eroding young men’s confidence to the point of desolation.

Mourinho, of course, is currently enjoying his £22million failure bonus he got from Manchester United.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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