Miami Dolphins To Ditch 'Dolphins' After Protest

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 15 July 2020

image for Miami Dolphins To Ditch 'Dolphins' After Protest
A couple of dolphins earlier

News coming out of the Everglades, this morning, is that the Miami Dolphins are the latest team to come under the spotlight with regard to their name, which, say protestors, undeniably portrays dolphins in a bad light.

After the Washington Redskins confirmed they will change their name, and the Kansas City Chiefs said their name was "under review", executives at Miami are meeting today.

Dolphins are generally friendly creatures, and are known to be the only marine animals that smile. They often swim alongside boats, and seem to want to 'play' with the vessels, earning them their 'almost human' reputation.

Researchers have discovered that dolphins teach, learn, cooperate, show emotions such as happiness, sadness, and frustration, and jump through hoops in swimming pools.

But they can't play football, and they never will.

Former Dolphins quarterback, Dan Marino, whose name sounds a bit like the tiny European microstate, San Marino, said:

"A dolphin can't throw the ball, can't run, can't catch, can't master any of the skills required to be successful at the game."

Animal Rights activists were giving their full support to dolphins everywhere.

One lunatic said:

"Dolphins' lives matter."

Other teams including the Detroit Lions, the Chicago Bears, the Carolina Panthers, and the Philadelphia Eagles, are monitoring the situation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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