Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 10 November 2018

image for Manchester City v. Manchester United Big Match Preview
None of this lippy bullshit that you get nowadays

There'll be a lot at stake when the two teams take the field in Sunday's Premier League encounter between Manchester City and Manchester United at the City of Manchester Stadium, not least the three points the victors will attain at the end of the contest.

On current form, the two are fairly-evenly matched 'on paper', but, as most people will be aware, the game doesn't take place on paper, it takes place on grass, which is a completely different kettle of fish, if you'll permit me the idiomatic contrivance.

And it seems fitting, somehow, that the occasion will take place at a stadium known as 'the City of Manchester Stadium', with both teams hailing from the Manchester area, and - an inescapable coincidence - having the word 'Manchester' in their team names!

The home team will be wearing their traditional sky blue jerseys with 'ETIHAD AIRWAYS' emblazoned across their chests, a little white collar, and a white stripe down their sides, white shorts, and sky blue stockings with a white band at the top. The visitors, meanwhile, will be sporting their famous red jerseys with three black stripes down their shoulder blades, to indicate that the makers are a German concern called adidas. They'll be appearing with the word 'CHEVROLET' across their chests. They make cars and things. They'll also be wearing black shorts and black stockings, which should ensure a good contrast with the home team.

Both team managers are good at their jobs, and will have encouraged their players to go out and do their best.

Both sets of supporters are eagerly looking forward to the match-up, so let's hope the participant are all on their best form, and give it everything, so that everyone can have a lovely day out, and enjoy a jolly good game!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
49 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more