Pope Francis is Serious
To show that he will not put up with child molestation, Pope Francis has already placed 3 bishops on the rack, placed 2 priests in the Iron Maiden & had one drawn & quartered. No kids molested lately!
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Dead Cat Seen Once Again
Cat Medium: Ragamuffin cannot rest until he finds out where his balls were buried.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Motivational Speaker, Half of Crowd Blown Up!
"Whose idea was it to bring in a speaker for our suicide bombers? You should have known that Muhammed Abdul would get too agitated!"
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Twentysomethings Think We're Kidding
It's the truth, there were a group of people called The Zombies back in the 1960's. They did exist, I kid you not!
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Vice President Joe Biden Finds Bug
After he and wife begin hearing maniacal laughter coming from under their bed! "I'll have it investigated if I can find which of our groups is doing it."
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Come On! You Can Do It!
Motivational Speaker argues traffic cop out of giving her a ticket in a positive reaffirming manner.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Religious family survives being lost at sea
"We became more and more religious as the days went by", says daughter.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
PLO Leader Says Rock-Throwing Very Important In Wars
Once World War Three is over, there will only be rocks and clubs and we'll be sitting pretty.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
They Are Polling Again As Many Getting Away From Land Phones
Family get telephone poll call at dinner time asking: "Are you for or against being polled at dinner time?"
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Ghost of Bin Laden Being Reported
He was last seen near Frozen Niagra inside of Mammoth Cave!
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
New Laws For Cruise Lines
As of January 1, 2014, all cruise line disease outbreaks or ship breaking down will result in the Captain being keel-hauled!
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Restaurant Bugged By Ex-Employee
Steak restaurant embarrassed as fired employee hid bug with loud Horse Noises in the kitchen.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Ads Now Appearing Recommend Twinkies
What if there's a war, a failed economy, an electric outage for months? Jut include Twinkies in your disaster shelf. Guaranteed for the first 50 years.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Heat Wave In Alaska #3
After day at the seashore, locals return to whole village melted down.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Heat Wave In Alaska #2
"Warmest I can remember", says old timer who is wearing his cut-off long-handled underwear.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Heat Wave In Alaska
Fat Eskimo Gal has to have bikini operation to get it removed! Starts to blubbering.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Paula Deen Hired as Spokesperson for Jack-In-The-Box
"I have to lie like a dog but it's good money. Maybe I can improve their menu."
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
First Head Transplant Completed #6
Apparently head transplant successful, but overseas doctors looking for men who wish to sell other big body parts for lots of cash.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
First Double-Head Transplant Completed #5
Couple to get married, exchange vows, rings, heads.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Warning: NSA is now on watching you and computer
Laugh like you are really interested in seeing these spoofs and stay on here until clearance given.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Details
CONWAY, NH--Sam Hedgewick explained to emergency room attendants that if he had specified which arm should have been tied behind his back, he totally would have won that fight.
written by rvler9201, 11 August 2013
First Head Transplant Completed #4
Slight hitch as 55-year-old gets used to his 10-year old body. "My word, with this big head, I look like John Kerry as a kid."
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
First Head Transplant Completed #3
One small hitch, lady with male body says she don't see how she can walk with all that hanging out.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
First Head Transplant Completed #2
One little hitch, anesthesiologist slips up and surgeons so drowsy, head placed on backwards.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
First Head Transplant Completed
One hitch so far, former male so fascinated with new female body he's not cooperating with surgeons on information.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Washington Farmers Feeding Pigs Pot
"Make really good pigs in a blanket and smoked cocktails as snack food!"
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Russia Detains Opposition Mayor, a Putin Rival, in Bribery Scandal
In an amazing coincidence, six different politicians, others who oppose Putin have committed cries in the past six months.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Clean-Up in Aisle 4, Call 911!
Ten cart pile-up at WalMart leaves 5 injured, one sent to jail. A sudden stop by a fat lady filling most of the aisle caused the pile-up. Male whom the fat lady fell on arrested after throwing cans.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
NSA Admits to Listening to You!
"But we didn't laugh at you and your wife actually falling out of bed and continuing of the floor."
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
5 scary new hacks
One can send fake photos of you naked to everyone on Facebook friends.
"Say what?", ask Anthony Weiner.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Burglars return stolen computers to nonprofit, leave apology note
"Sorry. We didn't know non-profit. You might want to have the photographs we put on them wiped out.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Skinny dippers warned of biting fish
"Not our fault that they're now eunuchs", says Florida Game Warden.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
ASIANA Offers $10,000 to Crash Survivors.
"This should really help against those $100,000 hospital bills!", says CEO.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Weiner: If I Lose nYC I have Other Plans
Word is out that he will run for high office in Missouri, the "Show Me" state!
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Report From Missouri!
Independence, Missouri say they will nor recommend any candidates this year. Same as before.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
IRS Targeting Small Businesses.
Ran by no-good Republicans, Independents!
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Billionaire prepares to unveil mysterious project, revolutionary 'fifth mode' of transportation
Jet pacts on the back? Lawn chairs with tougher balloons? We'll find out soon!
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Justin Bieber Has New Tattoo
It's on his privates and is a very small tattoo picture of an ant carrying a grain of sugar.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Thou was not looking!
Heated words exchanged as two Amish buggies collide in Pennsylvania!
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Woman Struck Ten Times With Switches In Afghanistan
Islamic Fundamentalists say she was wearing one of those new see-through veils by Abercrombie & Fitch!
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Major Split Between Amish Groups
Of all things, who would have thought that a skateboard would split a major Amish group. One side says "It's from the devil" while the other group points out that there are no mechanics to it.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
Someone Somehow Leaves Burning Dogshit Outside Obama's Suite
From the balcony, Michelle Obama yells to reporters, "We are not amused." Police believe it was an inside job. "Lot of wealthy people here who don't want taxes raised."
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
McDonald's Going Green
McDonald's announced today that they are going green. "We're dropping the pink slime and adding the organic New Soylent Green", says spokesman.
written by Bureau, 11 August 2013
