Sad News From The Wimbledon Finals
The Wimbledon Finals are being canceled because of a sudden outbreak of 'Line Flu.'
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Perez Hilton - Not Paris Hilton
Perez Hilton asks, "Hey did everyone forget about me? Remember I was assaulted by the Black Eyed Peas, P Diddy, and Do Wah Diddy Diddy."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Michelle Obama aka The Fashion Maven
Michelle Obama has told her assistant that if everyone was shocked to see her wearing sleeveless blouses and dresses, just wait until they see her wearing her Daisy Duke Short Shorts.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
The Awesome San Diego Zoo Promotion
The San Diego Zoo in a tribute to Michael Jackson has announced that they will be allowing anyone who's last name is Jackson free admission between now and August 1.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Expensive Animal Creation
A genetic engineer was cloning goats. When asked if the process was expensive, he said, "They don't come sheep."
written by IN SEINE, 28 June 2009
Grim Reaper Tries To Make Ammends
His press secretary says to make up for the death of Farrah Fawcett, he decided to take out two scourges on society:Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays.
written by Daniel Williams, 28 June 2009
TV pitchman Billy Mays dies at age 50
Meteoric career comeback for Michael Jackson led Mays to try the amazing "Demer-All" product that "makes it EASY for any 50 year old to pass away in their sleep with NO muss and NO fuss!"
written by Robin Berger, 28 June 2009
Jungle News Today
The jungle drums in the in DR Congo reported that a cannibal passed his friend in the jungle this morning.
written by IN SEINE, 28 June 2009
Michael Jackson - The One and Only "Gloved One"
Wal-Mart reports that world-wide sales of Michael Jackson left-handed gloves have surpassed the 28 million mark.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Here Comes The Miley Cyrus and Amy Winehouse Musical Tour
Miley Cyrus and Amy Winehouse have signed to go on a 47-city North American Tour. The tour is being hailed as "The Bubbly & Ugly Tour."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
The Country Formerly Known As Wales
The governing body of Wales has voted to change the country's spelling to Whales in honor of the much misunderstood Sperm Whales.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
The IHOP's Are YoHOP's In Latin America
Research scientists are reporting that they believe they have traced the origins of the Swine Flu to bacon strips that were found in the kitchen of a YoHOP Restauant in Puerto Escondido, Mexico.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
The Findings of The Reptile Institute of Austria
The Amphibian's Institute of Austria has concluded that kissing a frog will not give you warts although it will certainly cause your neighbors to point and stare.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 June 2009
Twi;ight Time
Old song by Platters "Twilight Time" making a comeback because of the movies and books.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
College Students Report Monkey Pox
Whole class at Indiana State "Study of Evolution" class suddenly hit with the Monkey Pox. Scientists say they hope it doesn't miss with Swine Flu, creating "Shit Creek's Disease".
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Old Parts Displayed
Michael Jackson's castoff parts has been sold to a Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum in Niagara Falls by the Jackson family.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Fans Still Suspicious
Still a third autopsy may be performed on Michael Jackson as his manager says he may go on an autopsy tour.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Hubble Shows Life On Another Planet
A deep space planet just revealed by the Hubble Telescope shows life, goes a long way towards explaining Picasso paintings.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Manager "Fat" Jim Higgens Explains
Slim Jim factory explosion earlier this year blamed on heat build-up in fat used to produce "Slim Jims".
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
New GMC Tough Competition
Government Motors is now offering a $4,500 rebate with every new $75,000 Cadillac purchased.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Seniors Back To Work
U.S. seniors are hunting jobs as retirement hopes fade. So far, only three restaurants accidentally burned to ground because of forgetting to turn off deep-fat fryer at night.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Monkey Does Himself In
Grieving Michael Jackson's favorite pet monkey found dead of asphyxiation in closet using ropes around neck and penis.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Janet May Do Panned Jackson Tour
Janet Jackson will take up the 50 performance schedule of Michael Jackson's planned tour. Promising less dancing, but more robe mishaps.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Ed McMahon Upset
Friends say that Ed McMahon thoroughly pissed to playing second fiddle to someone else, even in death.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Jackson Couldn't Sing
News today about Michael Jackson is that a medical condition prevented him from being able to sing but that had never stopped him before.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Joe's Blows
Vice President Joe Biden places his foot firmly into his mouth once again. Blames two bad hair implant plugs for "not using his head".
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Big Ebay Sales
Michael Jackson's toenail clippings sold on eBay for over $10,000. Authenticity DNA report included.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Iran Elections Fair
Ayatollah in charge of Iran points to record 135% turnout to show democracy of Iran's government.
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Clinton's New Book
Bill Clinton's new "tell all" book to be serialized in Playboy Magazine. "Hillary wears me out at home."
written by Bureau, 28 June 2009
Prince Harry Goes To War Again
Harry Hewitt is to return to the front-line, this time in the war against pale ginger skin. "I'm off to Majorca with the missus for a couple of weeks. Then I'm going to get pissed for a year", he said.
written by Ron Smith, 28 June 2009
Wimbledon - Queen Could Play Murray In Final
The Queen has been given a wilcard entry into the Wimbledon men's final where she could meet a Scottish Andy Murray. "It's the match we all want to see", a tabloid journalist said.
written by Ron Smith, 28 June 2009
50 Cent believes Michael Jackson
was ripping off some of his big early hits and so he considers himself as a part of MJ's success
written by unknown
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad hit with a Bunker Buster
A bunker buster was dropped on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's head. The device just bounced off the "nut cases" hard and empty head. President Obama apologized and said he will try the "nuclear option" next!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 June 2009
