Ron Smith

Screen Name: Ron Smith

Ron Smith has published 85 items on The Spoof.

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Latest Spoof News Story: Wednesday 21st July 2010

Spoofing since: Thursday 25th June 2009

Location: Bristol UK not Bristol Palin

Profile: I am half the man I used to be. The tall people once said that I was "a giant amongst midgets", but now I have shrunk. Don't view me as a freak. The half-eaten fish in my beard, pus-stained teeth, the kebab wine stenched breath, short stubby yellowing fingers and shit covered tartan pants are not I. Inside this misshapen figure is a former god, a king, or as my fiancée stated tearfully after falling for that dashing French sculptor Jean-Fred, "You were an intellectual failure, now you are nothing. I cannot save you." I write for there is nothing left but fucking words. Shag, screw, bang! If I offend, I am not sorry, merely bored of talent who succeed phenomenally, while I scrape a living from poorly crafted gutter stories and filthy fabrications that infest my putrifying cerebum. Take pity or give me money. I am dying of shame. At least give me the chance to die with dignity and I want sex, rampant sex. Somewhere hot, where the women love an ex-intellectual failure. Salut!

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