Official Taster Kept Busy
Michelle Obama admits that President Obama's official taster of food also does double duty in helping her shop for clothing.
Moderates Ask For Moderate Bombing
Moderates in Israel call for the moderate bombing of Iranian nuclear facilities which might draw only moderate response.
Arrested For Passing On Swine Flu
Mexican lady who knew he had Swine Flu ran kissing booth to raise money at Festival as her former fiance squeals on her.
Vice-President Joe Biden - The Handy Man
Last week Vice-President Joe Biden told President Obama that he really needed something to do. This morning Biden was seen on a John Deere riding mower mowing the White House lawn.
Stay Away From The Turtle Shell Soup
Scientists in Haiti have discovered that turtle shells are not really shells at all but are actually scabs...the biggest, hardest, friggin' son-of-a-gun scabs in the entire world!
Governor Sarah Palin's Much Deserved Honor
Governor Sarah Palin has just been named Alaska's "Helicopter Reindeer Shooting Mother of The Year."
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin Wants Out Now!
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin tells the Chinese officials who are quarantining him because of a fear of swine flu, "Hey dudes, I have got to get back to New Orleans now!...damnit it's hurricane season."
North Korea's "Buy Korean Only" Manifesto
North Korea has issued a very strong "Buy Korean Only" doctrine. Violators will be arrested, jailed, and tortured by being made to look at Amy Winehouse photographs for three hours a day.
The Vine Flu Has Greatly Affected Zimbabwe
The African nation of Zimbabwe says that due to the vine flu, tourism has dropped off by 90 percent. And unless the U.S. can provide them with a "Bailout" they will go bankrupt. They need $915.
Two U.S. Journalists Sentenced To 12 Years
North Korea has sentenced two U.S. journalists to 12 years at hard labor or they can choose to spend 12 days having to stare at Kim Jong Il's hairdo from hell.
New Teen Study
New study shows that fewer teens are having sex today, using drugs or drinking alcohol, but lying is up nearly 50 percent.
Red Wine Benefits
Study: Red wine may slow down the aging process. Plenty of red wine could stop your aging completely!
NDakota Gives In To Global Warming
Study: $45 trillion needed to fight global warming. North Dakota, with June snow, say they'll opt out, thank you.
Polygamist father once again simply overwhelmed at number of gifts and generosity on Father's Day.
Is Tonka Next?
Auto sales still really down as Tonka Toys may be next to declare bankruptcy!
We Have Met ET & He Is Us!
Study: Humans not getting exercise and sitting at computers all day will eventually develop large heads with scrawny arms and legs, glowing tip of fingers from pushing buttons for everything.
Apes, Humans Inherited Laughter
Study: Both apes and humans inherited laughter trait from their common ancestor, the hyena!
Boyles Takes Early Rehab
Susan Boyles says she's getting to the rehab part of being a star over with first so she won't have to do it later.
Berlusconi Denies Affair
Italy's President Berlusconi denies he had an affair with a seventeen-year-old but after careful thought, brags about it!
Coleman Hanging In There
Coleman still stalling out in Minnesota election for Senate, hoping moose will attack Franken!
Brown Loses Another one
Still more scandals rock British Prime Minister Brown as Prince Charles resigned this morning in protest.
New Axis Of Evil
Former George W. Bush adds the United States of America under President Barack's administration to Axis of Evil!
Unemployment Rate Deepens
Unemployment rate gallops ahead of expectations...according to the latest Gallup Poll!
Obama May Need Another 4 Years
Obama: U.S. in very deep recession -- will take considerable time to recover...over four years at the least!
"Nothing' 'Bout Birthin' No Babies!"
Mother gave birth so quickly her baby slid down her trouser leg, as turd goes down the other.
The Beach Police Are Watching
Police use hidden camera to catch beach bicyclers for going over 10 MPH speed limit, tricycles over 5 MPH.
Yellowstone National Park Bears Sue the EPA
YNP bears are suing the EPA for toilet paper to help clean up their environment. The EPA is oblivious to what bears do in the woods, while TV toilet paper ads show that bruins use this product.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 08 June 2009
Rogue Protein Hits Brain
Scientists have shown a rogue protein thought to cause Alzheimer's can spread through the brain, turning healthy tissue bad. Blame popularity of Adkins Diet.
Dalai Lama Honorary Citizen Of Paris
Exiled Tibetan spiritual leader the Dalai Lama has been made an honorary citizen of the French capital, Paris. He still won't promise his next incarnation will be French.
After Their Ears?
Burma's Karen flees army offensive into Thailand. Also, Cubby, Dorene, Annette and Bobby!
Tom Paine Remembered?
It's 200 years since the British-born "father of the American revolution" died. His words also shaped Britain and France and yet few people know much about him at all. He was..uh..uh .OOh (snap!snap!)
Gabon Denies Bongo's Death
Gabon's government has denied French media reports that President Omar Bongo is dead. Just had to go to Haiti for emergency brain operation.
The Next Big Thing
The latest fad that has hit the nation is gaining steam daily as bankruptcies near the one million mark.
Kansas Rally Today
There will be a "Right To Life" rally in Kansas today to celebrate the murder of Kansas Abortion Dr. George Tiller.
California Budget Balanced
Governor Schwarzenegger finally balances California's budget by selling Chinatown to the Chinese.
British Kite Surfer Crash Lands In Costa Rica
An English kite surfer landed in an area full of poisonous jellyfish off the Costa Rican coast. He fought off hundreds of jellyfish with the aid of a pencil, a banana, and a jar of peanut butter.
US Army Changing Rules
US Army agrees to allow more females with big melons to enlist. I'm sorry, that should be, US Army to allow more "convicted felons" to enlist!
US Mayor Shanghaied!
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is being held in a Shanghai hotel by The Jazz Police, after a passenger on his flight from the US fell ill with suspected swine flu.
Military Spending Up
Military spending sets new record as President Barack Obama continues to withdraw troops from Iraq.
US "Concerned" About Reporters
US 'concerned' for jailed reporters. President Obama orders congress to wear "concerned" face for the next three days.
Real IRA Leader Responsible
Real IRA leader Michael McKevitt was responsible for the 1998 Omagh bomb, a judge has found. "We were wrong in accusing that unreal make-believe leader", he admits.
Suspect Killer Warns Of Violence
Suspect in abortion doctor death warns of violence, but just a tad bit late.
Jay Leno Heading To Prime Time
Jay Leno said that he is going where no one will find him...NBC's prime time. Mr. Potato Head doesn't know how right he actually is.
US Posts 7,000 Troops In Desert
7,000 US Marines patrolling southern Afghan desert blow away six salamanders, arrest crazy "Desert Ali" wandering around looking for a mirage of water & women.
Conservatives Score Big
Conservatives score wins in EU parliament voting. Tell Obama where to put his American liberal policies. Join Russia in calling for freedom for the American people.
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin Shanghaied in Shanghai
The mayor of New Orleans and his wife have been quarantined in China because of a swine flu scare. Meanwhile U.S. government officials are trying to figure out a legal way to quarantine Dick Cheney.
The One and Only Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
The president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, giving in to media pressure, has agreed to legally change his name to one that is more easily pronounced and spelled. His new name? Dick Bush.
Global Airlines Will Lose $9 Billion This Year
Airline officials blame the $9 billion loss on the rising cost of fuel, lost luggage replacement, and the $2,000 an hour that the pilots make.
Paris Hilton - The Quintessential Blonde's Blonde
When Paris Hilton heard that President Obama had promised over 600,000 stimulus jobs this summer she replied, "My goodness, that is a lot of masseuses huh, for sure...oh and I'm still hot."
Laura Glads It's A Woman
Laura Bush glad Obama picked woman for high court but was hoping that we'd finally have a young child serving.
Brett Michaels Injured By Descending Set Scenery
Rock singer Brett Michaels was injured by a piece of set scenery while on stage at the Tony Awards. Meanwhile backstage Eminem was choking Cohen for his flying bird stunt at last week's MTV awards.
Money Going Somewhere
After one nation's company after another reports big losses, world leaders scratching their heads and wondering, "But WHO are we losing it to?"
Airlines Seen As One Bright Spot
World airlines seen losing only $9 billion this year."Right there's one bright spot", say leading economists!
Alternative Idiocy Now Offered
Alternative medicine goes mainstream! Chickens being killed in hospital hallways. Warts rubbed by dish clothes and buried in the back yards of doctors. Love Potion with Viagra pills.
Obama Promises 600,000 Jobs
Obama promises more than 600,000 stimulus jobs! "Were going to need you to work at soup kitchens, burger flippers and our own new Government Motors."
You couldn't make it up
The CEO of a Rugby team in OZ has resigned following allegations that he suggested to a female employee that she should spank him to punish him for punching her.It's funnier than the made up stuff!
written by Ricardo Fromage, 08 June 2009
Careless Brown told off by my Mum
Gordon Brown is offically "careless" after losing almost every seat in the local elections as well as almost every seat in Europe. As my Mum always told me, once is unlucky, twice is careless
written by Ricardo Fromage, 08 June 2009
Obama Orders Americans Out!
President Barack Obama has announced that all U.S. citizens who don't like to stand up when they crap immediately leave Pakistan, India.