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Funny satire stories about Chocolate

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Chocolate covered Maltesers prove the world is flat not round!

Funny story: Chocolate covered Maltesers prove the world is flat not round!

Giant chocolate producers, Mars (not on Mars), have finally convinced the world that the world is flat, and in honor of this great discovery, they have decided to issue a 'flat' version of Brits favorite 'round' choco snack, Maltesers! There were...

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Hershey's Kisses Sold in China Include Fortunes

Funny story: Hershey's Kisses Sold in China Include Fortunes

Beijing, China - Americans love their fortune cookies and consume nearly three billion fortune cookies each year. Americans who eat at Chinese restaurants typically read their fortunes aloud at the end of their meals. But citizens of China have n...

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UK hospitals ban chocolates and fizzy drinks claiming their food is healthier?

Funny story: UK hospitals ban chocolates and fizzy drinks claiming their food is healthier?

Stodgy treacle puddings lashed with sugar-ridden custard, fatty meat, gravy, over-cooked tasteless vegetables, fried egg and bacon breakfasts with sugar-dosed cereals, and other hospital delicacies, are more healthy claim UK hospitals than chocolate!...

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Nutty chocolate spread proves explosive!

Following a deluge of bad PR stories, it now appears that a popular nutty chocolate spread is explosive. Nineteen people in the US and 4 in the UK have spontaneously combusted after eating the sickly product. Big-Narstie, the corporation whic...

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Edible Bitcoin Sells Out

Funny story: Edible Bitcoin Sells Out

Bitcoin is now edible and selling like hot cakes. Bitcoin is an Internet currency sensation worth $1000 per Bitcoin. It can now be converted into little bits of gold plated chocolate coins. "Each Bitcoin is worth ten chocolate bits, which are...

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Man sentenced to treadmill after eating doughnuts before lunch

Funny story: Man sentenced to treadmill after eating doughnuts before lunch

A man who ate doughnuts before having lunch has appeared before Bolton Crown Court to be sentenced. Twisted Luke Smith, of Sharnford Close, Bolton, indulged in the sugary delights on Friday 15th May 2015 just before lunch time. The 21-year-old...

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Man jailed for not eating a chocolate bar quickly enough

Funny story: Man jailed for not eating a chocolate bar quickly enough

A former council worker who did not eat a chocolate bar quickly enough on a very hot day, leaving it completely melted, has been jailed for 11 years. Under the extended sentence for chocolate product protection, Joey Smith will have to serve two-t...

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Lorry driver Richard Langford jailed for trying to import 50,000 chocolate bars through Dover

Funny story: Lorry driver Richard Langford jailed for trying to import 50,000 chocolate bars through Dover

A lorry driver has been jailed for smuggling chocolate bars through the Port of Dover. Richard Langford, 31, was caught with a staggering 5,000 kilos of Dairy Milk, 1,000 kilos of Galaxy and 3,000 U.S. Hershey's chocolate bars when he was stopped...

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Chocolate Causing Facial Hair growth because of Audrey Hepburn Ad Campaign

Funny story: Chocolate Causing Facial Hair growth because of Audrey Hepburn Ad Campaign

The team behind resurrecting Audrey Hepburn for a recent TV commercial now admit they may have got it horribly wrong. The advert was a milestone in special effects and Audrey's face was recreated using computer graphics (CG). Using FACS (facial...

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Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Funny story: Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Top health officials have issued a warning to people not to put Toblerones in a fridge. They state that when the triangular chocolate bar becomes cold and hard it can become a "lethal weapon capable of damaging members of the public and even buildin...

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New Christian Sect Giving Out Chocolate Coated Cookies For Communion Goes Viral

Funny story: New Christian Sect Giving Out Chocolate Coated Cookies For Communion Goes Viral

A new religious group using chocolate coated cookies and Cola for communion purposes has outstripped all popular religions in church attendance figures according to "Which Church" magazine. Normally a kind of nasty old bread called Hosta is used. Thi...

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Military airlifts planned for future traffic jams during Sunbelt snow/ice storms

Funny story: Military airlifts planned for future traffic jams during Sunbelt snow/ice storms

Marietta, GA-Representatives of Lockheed-Martin, the United States Air Force, the United States Army, the Federal Emergency Management Agency and various local state agencies are drafting contingency plans for a Berlin-airlift response which official...

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Holland Sends Kim Jong Un 4,000 Pounds of His Favorite Chocolate Candy

Funny story: Holland Sends Kim Jong Un 4,000 Pounds of His Favorite Chocolate Candy

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - Holland the country which is famous for chocolate, tulips, and neutrality has just put a gigantic smile on the face of the leader of North Korea Kim Jong Un. Holland's Dyke News Agency is reporting that the government of H...

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A Chemist In Cincinnati Discovers The Ingredients In M&M's and Manufactures N&N's

Funny story: A Chemist In Cincinnati Discovers The Ingredients In M&M's and Manufactures N&N's

CINCINNATI - A chemist who has resided in Cincinnati all of his life has just informed American Spotlight Magazine that he has invented a new hard shell chocolate candy. Livingston Odessa who received his Chemistry Degree from Johnny Appleseed Uni...

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Tyra Banks Vows To Lose Her Muffin Top

Funny story: Tyra Banks Vows To Lose Her Muffin Top

NEW YORK CITY - The host of America's Next Top Model, Tyra Banks, has promised that she is going to do everything within her power to get rid of the muffin top that she has developed over the past few months. Tyra told her good friend Beyonce that...

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New Chocolate Sensation will be First Past the Post in Sales

Funny story: New Chocolate Sensation will be First Past the Post in Sales

A new Chocolate bar was launched today by Knestles named HORSE DELIGHT. It is the product of years of research into the eating habits of both humans and horses. Chief Executive of Knestles, Toby Barker, said that HORSE DELIGHT would be the the 'bi...

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Anti Porn group make their own Movies

Funny story: Anti Porn group make their own Movies

A group in California have started to make what they are calling Anti Porn movies featuring scenarios that are common to adult movies but that end up in wholesome activities. The films are being distributed via a website and at the moment there...

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The Shuttlecocks All Set To Invade Germany Over Christmas

Funny story: The Shuttlecocks All Set To Invade Germany Over Christmas

The dearth of news emanating from Martin and Anne Shuttlecock's locally based address recently has led to a great deal of speculation. Some observers assumed that the happily inept couple have gone into retirement, or at the very least, semi-retir...

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Breaking news…

Trump Names Convict With Ankle Bracelet as Chief-of-Staff

This time he wants a Chief-of-Staff that "won't get away too easy."
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