The biggest ice cream maker in the world, Ben and Jerry, has just announced that due to dismal sales, they are discontinuing their Trump Banana Bigot Ice Cream. A spokeperson for the creamery stated that only 29 pints were sold in the entire Unite…
Ice cream scientists the world over are asking some important questions, and getting few answers. Sure, we can all agree that chocolate is a flavor … a sweet delicious manly flavor that never lets you down and keeps you craving for more – MORE god…
North Korean ice cream is coming to the West, and none too soon. Personally made by Kim himself, the ice cream is creamy and delicious and does not contain Ebola or any other virus to destroy those in the West who will always have more freedom tha…
Skunk Hork, Alabama Well, if one never thought anything good could come from the American Deep South (like a Deep State), guess again! Now that white racists are worried that their skin color won’t be around in, say, 100 years, maybe 500 (who k…
LONDON – (Satire News) – The London Dispatch-Messenger Newspaper reports that after speaking with King Charles III, they can now say that he has finally managed to lick his life-long addiction to ice cream cones. Reporter Conrad Bloomin, no relati…
FROZEN FIDDLE, Vermont - (Satire News) - In a move that is being hailed by the majority of ice cream buyers in America, Ben and Jerry's has just announced that they will be taking their Trumptard Orange Marmalade off of the market. This particular…
FROZEN FIDDLE, Vermont - (Satire News) - The makers of Ben and Jerry Ice Cream have developed over 100 different ice cream names including Tasty Tango Mango Durango, Sweet Caroline Delight, and Thighlicious Daisy Duke Supreme. The ice cream giant…
ICE CREAM CREEK, Vermont - The Daily Max has just informed the public that the nation’s number ice cream restaurant has just come out with a brand new ice cream flavor that is geared strictly to the adult patrons. Reporter Savannah Stiletto state…
REYKjAVIK, Iceland – (Satire News) – The government of Iceland, which owns the country’s only Dairy Queen Ice Cream & Burger Restaurant, has stated that the fast food eatery may have to close. Iceland President Guoni Johannesson, 52, informed…
A twenty-five-year-old local man whose shit literally does not stink, has blamed his rare condition for ruining his life. The unfortunate man - whom we will call “Helado,” the Spanish word for “ice cream” - told us his story over lunch at the Iron…
The Great British Ice Cream Company food scientists explain how they created the new vulva Phish Food flavor by unlocking the secrets to their Vagina Cream Swirl. Male and lesbian customers were nothing but grateful when The Great British Ice C…
BURLINGTON, Vermont – The most popular ice cream producer in the nation has just announced a brand new ice cream flavor. The new ice cream flavor was developed by a team of Ben & Jerry ice cream experts who worked for 17 straight hours, eating…
If residents thought the effort to legalize weed in the state of Illinois was an entirely grass-roots-organized movement, then it might come as something of a buzzkill to learn that powerful ice cream industry lobbying actually spearheaded the push.
Residents sat up and took notice, whilst others peered from behind their twitching curtains yesterday afternoon, when an ice cream van started playing the theme tune from Match Of The Day over its loudspeaker. The unlikely incident took place on t...
Americans can scoop their ice cream without fear tonight after news that the Blue Bell Licker has been apprehended. Not since Son of Sam paralyzed New York City in the 1970s has a nation been so gripped with terror. The Licker, as authorities ha...
On June the 6th people across the world will celebrate D-Day, when 75 years ago, thousands of Allied troops landed on the sunny seaside at Normandy in what would be the beginning of the end for Hitler's Germany. A group of elderly veterans told th...
For many it is a rare treat, a delicious cool snack to be enjoyed on a hot British summer's day alongside a jellied rat. For others, it is a vile headache-inducing white paste served in a wet cardboard container that tastes of shoes. But whether you...
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