New Dating Service - Match A Guy's Penis to the Right Sized Vagina

Funny story written by UncleDale

Monday, 16 January 2023

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For your pleasure. Jeez.

Cumming Magazine is now running ads for the newest online dating service.

The service is called 'Snatch'.

Send a Dick photo and they will provide you with attractive women who have a compatible sized Vagina for possible dating.

(No more Shots in the Dark. )

It is all based on the ancient Hindu Sex manual the Kama Sutra.

The Kama Sutra describes Men as having three Penis('Lingam') Sizes -

'Hare' - 2" - 5"... 'Bull' - 6" - 7"... and 'Horse' - 7" and Over.

Women have 'Deer'(a short vagina).. 'Mare' - (Average).. and

"Elephant' (Deep)..

The Sutra advises Men to find a woman with a comparably sized Vagina - for maximum happiness.

A recipe for disaster is a man with a gigantic 'Lingam'(cock) and a Woman with a tiny 'Yoni(vagina).

Just another Complication you don't need in your Sex Life.

Also - Apparently 'Davids' Beckham and Bowie were Massive and had Linghams way over 7 inches.

And women with 'Elephant' vaginas complain that all the men were 'underhung'.

And an old complaint by Guys about women with Large vaginas was - 'like throwing a Mars bar in the Albert Hall'.

Anyway - for Sexual Happiness - find the 'Yoni' of your Dreams - the Right sized 'Yoni'. On your own - or using the dating service.

(Article by Dr. Futuro's Writing Bot - Lenny - (and part time Sex App. ).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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