Time is speeding up. The shortest day on record was on June 29, according to atom clocks.
When dinosaurs roamed the planet, the average day was 23.5 hours. Since 1820, scientists have keeping track to see how the Earth’s rotation has been slowing down.
But why?
Theories have theorized that the increased spin of the planet, and, thus, shortening of time, could be due to the polar ice caps melting. With less weight on its shoulders, Earth spins faster.
Superman can’t help us now. (Though Cher is still defying the odds of how old she looks but isn’t.)
So if you have something you really want to do but have always put off, do it now. You may not have time later.
What will this mean for world history? Things will have to happen faster.
You want a war? Start one now and please be done by tomorrow. Ukraine is no longer invaded, Russia lost, and Putin put a bullet in his bunker brain. Done.
Trump coming back? Fuck no, arrested, put into a supermax prison, in solitary, no communication with the outside world, no visitors, for at least a decade or more (which could turn into 2 decades, if the Earth gets even slower).
All the old men leading their nations into an abyss? Throw them in, save the country, no more speeches, no more lengthy courtroom dramas, things gotta happen now now NOW!
China still shooting missiles? Enough. Send all of their leaders to the moon so they can inspect their space station … and then the rocket that sent them mysteriously gets a flat tire (or the equivalent). You can’t go home again, as Thomas Wolfe once said.
And if Jesus Christ tries to come back, kick him in the nuts and tell him we don’t want your kind here no more. We’ve had 2000 years of your shit, fuck off. Then send him to the moon too. Or Mars. Or just into space … it’ll take him a long time to float back while holding his breath.
And the Earth will be a trillion years old by then, and we’ll all live lives not by the year or month or even week, but by the second.
