Speaking Clock To Make Welcome Return

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 13 November 2020

image for Speaking Clock To Make Welcome Return
Time is a trick of the mind

News has just reached us that, according to official timekeepers at the office of the Department of Time, in Greenwich, London, the Speaking Clock will make its much-awaited return to service in January.

And the time is just gone twenty to five.

Rita Brown, 42, is the officialest timekeeper in the office, and she confirmed that, without a shred of a doubt:

"At the third stroke, it will be 4:42 and 5 seconds."

There were then three pips.

The Speaking Clock was a service provided for those without the benefit of a clock or a wristwatch, and who were desirous of knowing whatever hour of day or night it was.

It was abandoned several years ago, and persistent calls for the service to be re-introduced had fallen on deaf ears until today's announcement.

Rita said it would be:

"a joy to get back to old ways."

She was also able to confirm that she was going home in just over another 17 minutes when her shift knocked off at 5 pm, and that, tonight, she was going round to her friend's house to return a knitting pattern she'd borrowed.

She said:

"At the third stroke, it will be 4:42 and 20 seconds."

Pip. Pip. Pip.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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