DEVIL'S ASS, Arizona - (Satire News) - The temps in and around the Grand Canyon area have been hitting between 108 and 113 on a daily basis.
Reports from Arizona rangers are that the canyon's fire ant population has literally gone up in flames.
A drone reported seeing horned toads spitting on each other in order to get some relief from the damn heat.
A tourist from Saudi Arabia said that she measured the Colorado River and it was only ¼ of an inch deep. She actually picked up a minnow that she said was crying from being semi-cooked.
She did manage to spray whipped cream on the fish and it got a smile on it's face from ear-to-ear.
SIDENOTE: President Biden has stated that he will be signing a Presidential Executive Order that will give Arizona $17 million to buy water from Oregon and ship it down to the Grand Canyon.
