LONDON - (Satire News) - The United Kingdom is extremely concerned with the recent outbreak of the Monkeypox Virus, which has been narrowed down to people who have pet monkeys.
The World Health Federation (WHF) has said that the dreaded virus is believed to have started either in Zimbabwe, Brazil, or Cambodia.
However, a German member of the WHF, believes that the Monkeypox formed on the west bank of the River Thames back in March of this year (2022).
One disease expert from Portsmouth, Dr. Otto Muffinberry, 62, revealed that so far the cases have been confined to those individuals who have pet female spider monkeys.
The Ta Ta For Now News Agency is reporting that every female spider monkey in the UK is being rounded up, caged, and flown to an extremely isolated (and cold-as-shit) area of Siberia.
Meanwhile, the evil, cruel, heartless Russia dictator, Vladimir Nikita Putin, has said that if the UK exports the little infected monkeys to Siberia, he will have no choice but to launch a full-scale attack on the UK (i.e. England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales, and Greenland).
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Putin apparently failed his high school Geography class, as even an eight-year-old child knows that Greenland is not part of the UK.]