SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - The latest fire to hit Northern California has already consumed over 19,302 acres and is spreading quicker than a cheap Brooklyn streetwalker spreading her legs.
The fire, which is being called La Senora Forest Fire, after the La Senora Creek, reportedly started when two extremely horny grizzly bears were engaged in animalistic coitus.
Forest ranger Buck F. Winterwicky, 37, told Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Pico de Gallo that the male and female bears were really 'going to town' so damn hot and heavy, that their lascivious sexploits actually caused a spark, which caught some buffle grass on fire and it quickly spread to some nearby Sequoia trees.
Meanwhile, California Director of Forest Fires, Julian Julio Cervezaguez, 42, told 3T that they are hoping that the fire does not burn down the mansions of Taylor Swift, Khloe Kardashian, Ryan Seacrest, and Black Kitty Meow Meow.
