BEIJING, China – (Winter Olympics Satire) – The Winter Olympic Committee has just announced that it had to cancel one of it’s most popular events.
The Women's Giant Shalom Alpine Skiing even had to be stopped when one of the skiers from Guatemala, Socorro “Debbie” Marimba, was attacked by an 8-foot-tall black bear, as she was halfway down the course.
An eyewitness from London, told reporters “Da fooking bear, she fooking came out of nowhere, and bit Miss Marimba, who managed to fight it off using one of her fooking ski poles and a perfectly placed kick to the bear's fooking crotch using one of her Peckaboo Street Designer snow ski."
The witness stated that being a circus performer, she has been around bears all her life, but noted that she had never heard a bear scream as loud as the attacking bear did.
Luckily, Miss Marimba was immediately rushed to the Olympic center hospital, where physicians managed to close her upper thigh wound with just one stitch.
SIDENOTE: The event however, has been cancelled since there are reports of other bears lurking about the area.
