THE MOJAVE DESERT - (Satire News) - The Los Angeles Post-Gazette is reporting that a lightning strike caused a fire in the Mojave Desert. Reporter Fargo Windfall stated that although the strike was a major one, the only damage to the Mojave was th…
LUFTWAFFE, England - (Satire News) - A fast-moving wildfire that started in Fissinshire, quickly spread to one of the few towns in England with a German name. The town of Luftwaffe, which was originally named Lilting Lili, but changed after WWII,…
WINDSOR, England - (Satire News) - The huge wildfires that have scorched the English countryside are now threatening to destroy the 11th century Windsor Castle. Windsor Castle was originally built by The Silas F. Smillinberger Castle Constructing…
LONDON - (Satire News) - One longtime resident of London, Reginald F. McPatio, 67, said that he has never seen so much damn fire and so much damn smoke in his entire life. He noted that watching the out-of-control English fires on the telly, was l…
Okay, my bad, I have been singing the wrong lyrics for years. When The Clash sang “London is drowning”, I swear to the gods of punk music I thought Joe Strummer was singing “London is burning.” See, ‘cuz then the next line makes strange hopeful s…
CRAWFISH BELLY, Louisiana - (Satire News) - Well, it's summertime and that means extremely hot conditions which translate into forest fires. Usually most of the fires are found out on the Left Coast, in California, Oregon, Washington, and Nevada.
NORTHERN CALIFORNIA - (Satire News) - The treasurer of the Left Coast state has just stated that the La Senora forest fire that had been burning for weeks has finally been completely put out. BuzzFuzz reports that a freak monsoon that hit Californ…
MUCHO CALIENTE, California - (Satire News) - The California Dept. of Ethics has just arrested a man living in Oxnard for selling forest fire insurance to Archie and Agnes Timtonwax, 84 and 80, who live 147 miles from the nearest tree. The Flickerb…
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - The latest fire to hit Northern California has already consumed over 19,302 acres and is spreading quicker than a cheap Brooklyn streetwalker spreading her legs. The fire, which is being called La Senora Forest Fire…
DUCK DUNG, Alabama – (Satire News) – The “Turdhead” (DJT) who said that COVID was a hoax, and he won the election by 54 million votes, and that the Boy Scouts of America were conducting a “Witch Hunt” on him has now surpassed even his most stupid, id…
SACRAMENTO – (Satire News)- The California wildfires of the Summer of 2021, were the worst in the history of the state. The California Commission of Wildfires (CCW) stated that they surpassed the 1949 La Brea Tar Pits Fire, the Calexico Fire of 19…
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – LaLaLand Daily reports that due to the thousands of damn wildfires that have hit California, the cost of wildfire insurance has gone up by as much as 817%. Leilani Oahu-Roofy, 43, who is an insurance agent with the Pr…
VACAVILLE, California – (Satire News) – Reports being put out by The Alpha Beta News Agency, are that thousands of California firefighters are running out of ideas as to how to fight the damn wildfires that are continuing to relentlessly burn out-of-…
AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California – (Satire News) – Weather experts are now stating that the California wildfires are the worst in the history of wildfires. Papayo Bamboo with Tabloid Today, said that she spoke with Max D. Nissbaum, who is the director…
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The state of California, which has suffered from earthquakes, mudslides, wildfires, bumper-to-bumper traffic, smog, tsunamis, and Trump’s ass-kissing little fairy Scott Baio, has just spent $19.3 million on a new advertisi…
SACRAMENTO, California – (Satire News) – The state of California, suffering from a horrendous drought has just informed the news media that they have worked out a deal to purchase water from Chicago. The Windy City gets its water from Lake Michiga…
TARANTULA TITS, Wyoming – (Satire News) – The Wyoming Department of Forestry & Animal Issues, is extremely concerned over the states 4 wildfires that are raging out-of-control. The main fire known as The Tongue of Freaking Satan Fire, was repo…
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