HOUSTON – (Satire News) – NASA is in a state of shock, as reports from Satellite Ferdinand Magellan X3 have just reported that the Mars Land Rover is missing.
Word is that Perseverance was last heard from at 2:30 a.m. (Martian Standard Time). A NASA security guard said he heard the rover reviving up as if it was going up a steep slope.
The guard, who refused to give his name, said that he was sitting at his TV monitor desk drinking a wine cooler, when all of a sudden he saw a dark subject (it was night) appear on the screen by the driver’s door.
The individual is believed to be a Scandinavian male, in his early twenties, about 6 feet tall, 182 pounds, and was wearing a University of Helsinki sweatshirt.
The land rover suddenly took off at a high rate of speed. Instruments in NASA’s control room showed “Persy” hitting speeds of up to 770 miles per hour.
Meanwhile, the FBI is asking that the thief return the land rover, as soon as humanly possible, no questions asked…well maybe just one or two.