HOUSTON – (Satire News) – NASA officials are amazingly excited at photos that have just been beamed back to Earth from the Red Planet, which clearly show several rattlesnakes.
The Mars rover nicknamed Bonnie, after the infamous Depression female member of the Bonnie & Clyde bank robbing gang, was built at a cost of $5.7 billion, some of which was donated by Bill Gates, Mark Cuban, and hip-hop artist Black Kitty Meow Meow.
Spacecraft designers confirmed that Bonnie's 6 hubcaps cost $9 million each.
They added the rear-view mirror was built at a cost of $7.1 million, by a team of Japanese female technicians, living in Galveston.
The latest photos from the Red Planet show several adult rattlesnakes in front of what appears to be an Indian Hawthorn Hedge.
The Martian rattlesnakes are much larger than rattlesnakes found in the southwest United States, but they do have exceedingly horrible attitudes.
The rattles, or buttons, as they are called in Texas, smell very much like baby Pablum. Bonnie's state-of-the-art computer system conveys that the buttons taste like a cross between a fortune cookie and a Norwegian sardine.
NASA scientists have not as yet ascertained if the venom from the Martian rattlesnakes is deadly.