NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Judge Jeanine Pirro has just joined Fox Network’s “The Five” and within 7 minutes she made 3 outlandishly fucked up statements. First the Trump ass-kisser said that if one looks at Mitch McConnell up close, he is ac…
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Multi-billionaire and co-founder of Bezos-Musk Inc., Elon Musk, has just remarked that one day, in the not-too-distant future, he will become the King of Mars. Musk who has more money than the entire populations of Iowa, E…
Mars rover Redhead solved the greatest mystery on the planet when it unearthed the remains of former Teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa from underneath a rock on the planet Mars. The remains were in extremely good condition due to the Martian atmosphere being…
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – Videos of tests that have just been sent back to Earth from Mars amazingly reveal that the dirt found on the Red Planet is almost identical to the dirt found in the state of New Mexico. New Mexico's dirt according to Wiki…
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Multi-billionaire Elon Musk recently told Oprah Winfrey that he’s not conceited, he’s just cock-sure. The man who could single-handedly feed half-a-dozen third world countries with money from his miscellaneous fund stated…
(Satire News) – Word coming out of Willie Nelson’s Austin ranch is that he has met with billionaire Elon Musk, and wants to be allowed to be one of the first to travel to Mars. Nelson, who has admitted to smoking marijuana ever since he was 8 mont…
The list of countries to have sent probes into space grows longer every day. This week, a robotic lander from Ireland failed to land on Mars, causing a great setback to their space programme. Commander Geoff McGowan of Dublin Space Command reflect…
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – NASA is in a state of shock, as reports from Satellite Ferdinand Magellan X3 have just reported that the Mars Land Rover is missing. Word is that Perseverance was last heard from at 2:30 a.m. (Martian Standard Time). A N…
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – NASA officials are amazingly excited at photos that have just been beamed back to Earth from the Red Planet, which clearly show several rattlesnakes. The Mars rover nicknamed Bonnie, after the infamous Depression female m…
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of Houston state that the richest man in the world, Elon Musk, is in the process of building what will be a truly astonishing Floating Asteroid Belt Station. The station named Vesuvius, after his pet sa…
US President Donald Trump affirmed today he had clear evidence Russia, Iran and Mars were interfering with the 2020 election. Speaking this morning at a campaign stop in South Bend, Indiana, the GOP leader said the FBI had presented him with proo…
It is what it is! That really means: So what! Trump said so what about the death of over 100,000 due to his absence of executive leadership. At the end of a football game or golf tournament, sure, It is what it is! But with over 100,000 dead, wha…
HOUSTON – (Satire News) - Everyone at NASA is extremely shocked at a photo that the Mars Land Rover has just sent back. The photo clearly shows a wooden home with a dog in front of it. NASA scientists are totally baffled at the photo, which the…
Citing that he had run out of things to steal on the planet, President Donald Trump, the leader of the free world, announced today his plan to launch himself into outer space on a mission he is calling "Make Mars Greaterer Again". The man with hi...
Science Town, USA In an inspiring show of patriotism, a majority of scientists believe that President Trump should have the honor of being the first man on Mars. "I think Trump has proved he has the stamina, persistence, and resiliency to make the...
INFO WARS-Well, we hate to say that we told you so, but actually we love it! In a recent knee-quaking, penis-swelling phone call with President Trump, we were given the "definitive-skinny" on what is going on in regards to the most recent threat...
NASA officials have defended the space agency's InSight probe to discover the interior structure of Mars, after facing pointed criticism, earlier in the week, that the project was an "astronomical waste of money". The landing on the surface of Ma...
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