Citing that he had run out of things to steal on the planet, President Donald Trump, the leader of the free world, announced today his plan to launch himself into outer space on a mission he is calling "Make Mars Greaterer Again". The man with hi...
Science Town, USA In an inspiring show of patriotism, a majority of scientists believe that President Trump should have the honor of being the first man on Mars. "I think Trump has proved he has the stamina, persistence, and resiliency to make the...
INFO WARS-Well, we hate to say that we told you so, but actually we love it! In a recent knee-quaking, penis-swelling phone call with President Trump, we were given the "definitive-skinny" on what is going on in regards to the most recent threat...
NASA officials have defended the space agency's InSight probe to discover the interior structure of Mars, after facing pointed criticism, earlier in the week, that the project was an "astronomical waste of money". The landing on the surface of Ma...
Having slingshot its way through the solar system, the package sent from Earth finally reached its destination - the planet Mars. A Martian search-party approached the package, and inspected its contents, finding bright red cylinders marked with the symbols Coca-Cola inside. They then carefully transported the box back to their base. Back in their underground city, one brave Martian scientis...
After months of travelling through outer space, propelled in a can of high-energy, red Bull-shit, a chocolate bar in a red tin-can, has landed successfully on planet Mars! Martians, with no ears, approaching the strange object having not seen 200...
The US space agency, NASA, has released the unexpected and astonishing results of a probe sent to Mars at the end of last year to collect samples of the planet's inner crust - Mars is made of chocolate! The InSight probe drilled through the Red Pl...
Do you need to transport goods into a low earth orbit at bargain basement prices? Perhaps you've always wanted to see the majesty of space through a windscreen, but without spending a fortune? Or have you ever wondered what the van of the future looks like? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you need to rent a Space Van. A Space Van is just like a regular van, with fou...
Eloon Musk today purchased several thousand head of Jersey dairy cattle, some yet to be born, with the promise to breed up to 6 million to send a constant stream of the bovines to the planet surface of Mars. Each cow would be equipped with its own...
The Flat Earth Society has grown in popularity in recent years, as the chronic underfunding of education starts to bite, and civilisation begins its inevitable decline back to the Stone Age. Prominent Flat Earthers include Kanye West, Jacob Rees-Mogg...
In the wake of Elon Musk's successful test-launch of his Falcon Heavy rocket system, US president Donald Trump is said to masterminding a campaign to send Hillary Clinton to Mars. Inspired by Musk loading up a mannequin at the wheel of one of this...
To some, he is an eccentric billionaire inventor who dreams of colonising Mars, cartoon-style transport systems, and other futuristic enterprises. To others, he is simply an arsehole. Elon Musk has said previously that he would like to send a huma...
Washington, DC President Trump held a press conference and announced plans for a manned flight to Mars. "People keep telling me to go to Mars and so we will!" said Trump. Although the first passengers we had in mind refuse to go-Obama and Hillar...
If Dennis Tito's manned flyby of Mars launches early next year as originally planned, the protesters will probably far outnumber those who come to cheer. Who would have thought that a mission to Mars could so divide this nation? The fault is clearly Tito's. He may be a wizard at investment management but he needs a public relations consultant to preview what he will say at a press conference. B...
June 27, 1492 TO THE EDITOR, BARCELONA SPOOF Dear Editor: At the risk of having my head lopped off I think someone has to demand from her royal majesty an explanation for the ridiculous voyage to China that she has just approved and which depa...
Hi-tech potheads in California want to be the first people to farm on Mars, and farmer Tad Hope is ready to take on the mission. Hope, a vocal proponent of the Green Mars movement, has posted numerous videos of his concept and test farm in Cedar K...
Outer Space In retraction of a news flash yesterday about a new planet in our Solar System discovered, astronomers sheepishly admitted that the planet they had discovered and named "New Kid on the Block" after the astronomer's favorite childhood ban...
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