DVD Player Keeps 'Sticking' Halfway Through Films

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 21 September 2020

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Oh, not again!

There's nothing like settling back on the settee with the wife, a nice drink, and a packet of salt 'n' vinegar crisps, and watching a DVD, but one man has told how his enjoyment of these televisual feasts has been ruined recently, after his DVD player started 'playing up'.

Moys Kenwood, 57, enjoys watching films as much as the next man, and, after the kids have been put to bed, he often relaxes in front of the box with his missus, and selects a DVD to watch.

About a fortnight ago, however, during 'House of Games', the David Mamet con-man movie starring Joe Mantegna, the gang members were just in the middle of one of their cons, where a suitcase with a lot of money is left on the sidewalk by 'an unknown man', when the screen froze, and that was that.

Annoyance followed..

Then, last week, whilst he and his wife were watching Woody Allen's 'Love and Death', Boris had just been loaded into that cannon, when disaster struck again. Not for Boris, of course. He was stuck in the barrel of the cannon, in the film that was stuck in the DVD player.

Last night, the Kenwoods decided to give it one last try, and gave David Lynch's 'Blue Velvet' an opportunity to show them what it could do. It fared no better. At the point where Geoffrey comes out of Dorothy's apartment and is discovered by Frank, who then takes him for a joyride, the DVD player intervened once more, encapsulating forever, Dennis Hopper's mad stare.

Said Kenwood:

I think it needs more than a clean. We might have to buy a new one, or even do something drastic, like move into the twenty-first century."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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