Written by Mark

Friday, 9 February 2018

image for Trump bankrolling mission to send Hillary to Mars on Falcon Heavy
Trump: I love crooked Hillary...I mean, Hillary.

In the wake of Elon Musk's successful test-launch of his Falcon Heavy rocket system, US president Donald Trump is said to masterminding a campaign to send Hillary Clinton to Mars.

Inspired by Musk loading up a mannequin at the wheel of one of this old Teslas, Trump is planning to blast Hillary off at the wheel of a limited edition cherry-red Chevrolet Uplander.

"As you know, I'm big a big advocate for feminism. Donald Trump loves women, okay. Love, them. My mother was a woman, you know?" Trump explained.

"I think the first person to go to Mars should be a woman, and I think Hillary will do a great job. Hey, maybe she could take Nancy Pelosi with her."

With the estimated cost of a manned Mars mission expected to be in the order of $100bn, questions abound as to how Donald Trump is planning to pay for the mission.

"Well, this Musk guy got a dummy in a car out to Mars for under $100 million. I see no difference between his plan and mine. I figure we just hand over Hillary and the Chevy, and let him do the rest."

As part of his eccentric plan, Trump plans to loop the soundtrack of the Wizard of Oz will on the car's stereo for Hillary's flight.

Asked whether a soundtrack including a song entitled "Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead" might imply more sinister motives for Trump's plan, Donald replied, "No, that's fake news!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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