Intell departments and reps step forward to claim FISA memo = “nothing burger”

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Friday, 2 February 2018

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Newest analyst at CNN states FISA memo is the latest effort from Putin to undermine American values

Dry bun, stale, no mayonaisse, no sauces, no sesame seeds, no bacon, no cheese, no onion, no pickle, and one thin slice of meat.

This = the resounding judgment on the FISA memo released today.

Senator McCain has joined in. This burger is so “nothing,” he said, it only serves Mr. Putin.

Even Putin is complaining of starvation pains and dizziness. “Where is my big juicy stacked burger tower?” he has been heard whispering.

Mr. Comey has rushed up to say: “What, what, for only this? This nothing burger? Why, we would sacrifice our noble FBI and such for this pittance of nothingness!”

Rushing forward and screaming, Ms. Pelosi and Mr. Schumer: "Do not expect you will create a constitutional crisis all because of this nutrition-less nothing burger!"

In fact, what does this nothing burger show? Anything? Yes.

That Nunes, Ryan, Trump, and the rest are all dupes obedient to Mr. Putin’s plans to ruin (and run) this country (either from Trump Tower or The White House basement).

Are US intelligence agencies innocent? Of course they are!

What did they do? Was it really so terrible?

Let us get into this nothing burger.

*All they did was take an unreliable, biased source as their basis for a FISA warrant as part of proceedings against Trump.

*All they did in renewing the FISA warrant was continue to use biased, unreliable sources.

*All they did was have certain top intelligence personnel promote the bias, namely Strzk and Ohr, determined to keep Trump out of office.

*All they did was ignore that their chief source, Steele and his dossier, was paid for by the DNC and Hillary Clinton.

*All they did was base their intelligence on another disputed source, Crowdstrike, again paid for by Clinton, so that the FBI never did examine DNC computers.

I mean if they didn’t do any actual investigating, how can they be held responsible, according to this nothing burger memo?

Maybe they didn’t understand? Not all of us are gifted at thinking. Or at following lawful proceedings.

Let us be reasonable.

From their investigation, which was entirely DISINTERESTED, came their “assessments” in January of a year ago.

These assessments said: Yep, them damn Russians (perhaps/maybe/probably) interfered with our election!

A footnote nobody read stated: the assessments are not based in fact.

These “assessments” were then spread far and wide to the American people.

Most Americans now automatically believe “Them Russians did it, oh for sure.”

No hard evidence (as in facts and verifications connected to Kremlin interference) has surfaced.

But is that important?

True, this has not helped world opinion of American brains. But so what?

Nothing burger indeed! With hardly any implications about bias, incompetence, corruption, arrogance, manipulation, malfeasance, and lying.

McDonalds, here I come—give me something juicy and decent!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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