Written by StubbornGorilla

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

image for President decries use of "Truth porn" in efforts to tarnish his presidency
"I like anything that involves porn, except when it involves truth."

In his latest attack on the media, president trump has accused the Associated Press of "resorting to the use of truth porn" in their attacks on his presidential integrity. Although, "fake news" is still a very popular phrase commonly used by the president in these instances of inconvenient truth, it is believed that he thinks that it is losing a bit of steam. Unnamed members of his staff have admitted that they felt "fake news" was losing it's edge when it came time to discredit one of his detractors, so they needed a new tagline to use in it's stead.

Early this morning the president tweeted out his frustration:

Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) ·
- "The disassociated press gets it wrong again. They can't say I said something just because I said it, because I didn't say it #truthporn."

We aren't exactly sure what the president was referring to, since he denies saying at least 86.7% of everything that comes out of his mouth. Although, the president did hint toward the source of his ire with a tweet several moments later.

Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) ·
- "Fox News reported that CNN just played that Access Hollywood tape again right when Melania was about to take off her dress on my command. #littledonwasready :( #mighthavetodosomestormchasing ;)

Later Sarah Huckabee Sanders explained the meaning of newly coined phrase that is believed the president was in the process of copyrighting, "Truth porn is when you guys try to manipulate facts in a way that makes the president look bad."

"So truth porn is basically saying something that is true, but the president doesn't like it?" asked one member of the press.

"That's not what I said," replied Sanders, "but president trump is in the process of copyrighting that phrase so don't use it unless you want sued." The Press Secretary assured all in attendance the president is still not shy about taking people to court.

The jury is still out on whether "truth porn" will catch on with trump's constituents, but the idea of shaming things just by adding the word "porn" to them has worked in other areas in the past. It may help that there is nothing conservatives like better than trying to make other people feel ashamed of themselves, so the trump camp is optimistic.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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