Mitt Romney Flip Flops Once Again and Now Says He's Glad He Lost The 2012 Presidential Election

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

image for Mitt Romney Flip Flops Once Again and Now Says He's Glad He Lost The 2012 Presidential Election
Romney still blames Sarah "Snowballs" Palin for his presidential loss. (Photo courtesy of Ron Paul).

BOISE, Idaho - Mitt Romney was up in Idaho visiting a potato seed packing plant when he was approached by Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Bar Magazine.

Petaluma asked the 66-year-old Massachusetts native how he feels now that he has had time to really reflect on his landslide defeat to President Obama in which he got stomped by an electoral college vote of 332-206.

Romney took a sip of his Pomegranate Gatorade and said that he has accepted the fact that he messed up and messed up big time.

When asked what he would have done differently if he had the chance to do it all over again he started laughing and said that the answer would take about two days to cover.

"Specifically?" Petaluma asked.

"Well for one damn thing," Romney remarked, "I would certainly not pick Paul 'Little Bunny Foo Foo' Ryan to be my running mate."


"Oh yes," Romney replied, "Hell his Eddie Munster eyebrows alone cost me about 79,000 votes in his home state of Wisconsin."

He also expressed the fact that he would not have insulted and attacked Big Bird because that made him look like he was some leftover Nazi SS officer from World War II.

The man whom Vice-President Joe Biden nicknamed The Old Flip Flopper sternly said that he blames Sarah "Snowflake" Palin, 49, for his loss as well.

He went on to say that the Loose Moose caused him to lose millions of votes due to the fact that she knows as much about geography as she does about being a feminine, dainty, non-hunting female.

Romney also said that if he could do it all over again he would never mention the fact that he is one ridiculously rich GOP SOB who has never set foot in a ghetto, a barrio, a trailer park, the backwoods, or an old folks home.

SIDENOTE: Mitt Romney surprisingly stated that he was glad that he lost the presidential election. When asked why, he smiled like that cat who just swallowed the canary and said that he knows that he would not have been able to take all of the late night television anti-Mormon jokes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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