Obama Uses Sports Metaphor and Fouls Out at Half Time

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

The sports world was rocked yesterday when President Obama compared himself to the NBA champions and compared Governor Romney to a highly paid rookie.

When President Obama compared himself to the Miami Heat, he meant only that they are his biggest donors.

As far as Mitt Romney is concerned, he could buy the entire Houston Rockets team where his comparative "Jeremy Lin" plays.

Voting blocs based on sports allegiance may be a new high-risk approach to winning and losing voters.

Romney once held up a sign at the Boston TD Garden saying, "I am a Celtic." The only thing Obama held up were the Celtics players themselves who donated somewhere in the area of $5000 each to meet the President at a fundraiser last year.

Aides prevented Romney from comparing himself to the Red Sox and calling Obama "another curse of the Bambino."

In future speeches Mr. Obama will compare himself to a pit-bull and call Mr. Romney "another Michael Vick."

No one on the Republican side has yet charged Obama with playing the race card when he compared his opponent to Jeremy Lin, who is of Chinese ancestry.

Democrats are ready to scoff that Mitt was named after a catcher's tool of ignorance and that he is a New England Patriot through and through.

Obama is planning an offensive to line up all soccer moms to level the playing field.

Neither candidate is expected to compare himself to the sport of kings, though Mr. Romney does own polo ponies and Mr. Obama owns a hula-hoop from his boyhood in Hawaii.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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