TRENTON, New Jersey - (Satire News) - The New Jersey state legislature has just voted to never allow Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump to enter the "Garden State."
The state senate vote was 95 against Trump, 4 for Trump, and one abstention.
Sen. Woodlow F. Quixote of Paramus stated that the fine, upstanding, people of New Jersey do not want a low-life, arrogant, sarcastic, whale-looking buffoon breathing New Jersey's wonderful air.
The senator added that there are over 30 New Jerseyans that "Cheeto Face" Trump owes money too; including two waitresses, a meter maid, a clown, and 7 or 8 sushi chefs.
The N.J. rumor mill also reports that there are at least three women, who swear that "Spanky" as Stormy Daniels call him, is the father of their children.
One of the women is Chinese, one is a mermaid, and the third one is half Australian and half Martian.
Word on the streets of Paramus is that a member of the Paramus mafia has said that he has been paid a very handsome price to invite the Trumptwit to go with him down to the Tuckaoe River and 'visit' the piranhas.