A new and important new news story from news agencies about … knowledge!
Knowledge is no longer power.
Mathematicians and theoretical scientists and other ridiculous people the world over have all agreed that having knowledge about something, anything – especially if it’s true and not conspiracy theory – is completely useless!
That’s right. All you egghead professors with your pointless PhDs (really? Does anyone really care about your doctoral thesis about the agronomic factors during the reign of King Scoopy XIX in the 5th Century, and how that CHANGED EVERYTHING … feck off and get a real job, but not as a professor teaching more moron doctors to write more pointless treaties on …)
Where was I? God damn that was some good Christmas weed. Thanks Santa!
Right, so … if you know something and you want other people to also know it, do NOT call it the truth, historical or otherwise. Well, let me change that – call it the truth, even if it isn’t. All the news stations are doing it, why aren’t you? Think you’re better than some guy with a podcast? Podcasts are law and truth and God – you Antifa!
Spreading fake news is the hot new thing, and there’s gonna be tons more in the new year. Think you’re safe from the ‘truth’?
In January, a new pox shall be found and shall be spreading among you and you don’t even know it! It will eat your eyes, spay or neuter your dog, and brainwash your children into not loving you anymore!
In Feb, a swarm of rabid lemurs shall attack Los Angeles – and demand lucrative contracts with major Hollywood studios!
In March, the Pope will switch sides and tell all Catholics that there is good reason to believe that, not only was Jesus gay, but also that “Adam and Steve” was very possible – having babies was done in the same way worms do it. That’s what the snake really was – a gay worm! (I’ve said too much.)
In April, no fools like old fools, Ronaldo and Geraldo will team up to start a new show investigating underground satanic sex cults in sports and moustache appreciation circles! Where do I join?!
And in … no more, you’ve had enough ‘truth’ for now. Spread it, make it viral … unless new and wonderful crazy theories about existence come to light, and CHANGE EVERYTHING!
PS: So go ahead and make stuff up. Don’t have a book nearby to check the ‘facts’? Fuck it – make it up. Someone comes along and calls you on your “version” of the truth, trying to make you look bad? Fuck it – make stuff up about them! Say they are or were or will be things they couldn’t possibly ever be – rumor is stronger than truth, always has been, always will be. You smell like elderberries – can’t prove me wrong? Truth!
