The Birth of Jesus Christ : Religious Doctrine. God wanted the Arch Angel Gabriel go to the town of Nazareth in Galilee and deliver a very important message to a young woman who lived there. The lady's name was Mary. She was a virgin who was be…
A new and important new news story from news agencies about … knowledge! Knowledge is no longer power. Mathematicians and theoretical scientists and other ridiculous people the world over have all agreed that having knowledge about something, a…
I was crazy. Once. Still am. I think Donald Trump was prophesized in the Book of Revelation. But you didn’t hear that from me. I tell myselves: “Don’t start rumors about real people being magically turned into gods and resurrecting from the dea…
NASA has reported finding a solar system much like our own. They were able to zoom in on an Earth-like planet to find that the ‘people’ there had advanced to a time period approximately the same as Earth’s Roman Empire. And they saw an alien Jesus…
We hold no brief with invisible friends in the sky—not the nine choirs of angels, the eight maids a-milking, the heavenly hosts a-dancing, or the figments of anybody's fevered imagination. We are, however, fascinated with the Historical Jesus, the ap...
In a Vatican press conference today, it was announced that Pope Francis has changed the teachings of the Catholic faith to oppose the death penalty in all circumstances, except for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The new position was met with incred...
In the first excavations of the newly discovered tomb of Jesus a marble bust and a missing chapter of the Gospel of St. Thomas have been found. The bust, according to the accompanying text is that of none other than Jesus. It bears a strong likeness...
Archaeologists digging near Jerusalem have unearthed what could be the find of the century... a document purporting to list the actual charges made against Jesus Christ. Jesus was formally arraigned at the house of the High Priest Caiaphas before a gathering of Scribes and officials belonging to the Jerusalem Sanhedrin council. The list of indictments was read out to the defendant who made...
Govenment experts puzzling over pre-Easter sales of crucifixion memorabilia are analysing possible reasons. One currently popular reason is that it is a sign of support for the return of the barbaric form of capital punishment. "A leading histori...
Christmas will terminate at midnight tonight in an attempt to curb turkey and mince pie abuse. Turkey can still be obtained by addicts but only on prescription. ChristmS trees, tinsel, mistletoe and chestnuts roasting on open fires will be banned unt...
Derry is by no means the only city in the world that ever got the "City of Culture" gong. A lost book by ancient historian Josephus could set the world alight if it is released to the public. Archaeologists came across the script in a cave near the Dead Sea and believe it to be genuine. It describes in detail what exactly happened to Jesus Christ. According to Josephus, Jerusalem had been g...
Jesus Christ has been told by the government that he can no longer be crucified at Easter. Equalities minister Lynne Featherstone has instructed lawyers to claim that the cross is not central to Jesus' everyday life. Instead, the lawyers will seek a...
Residents of a road in Walsall in the Midlands, venturing out in sub-zero temperatures yesterday for a bit of shopping and that, were horrified by the sight of a bloke crucified up a telegraph pole - in a bizarre protest. The bloke, wearing only a...
There are approximately 38,000 denominations of Christianity in existence today, making it the most widely practiced religion in the world with over 2.1 billion adherents. And although each sect agrees on the fundamental assumption that Jesus Christ...
Democracy has been indicted for the Crucifixion crime at Golgotha, a spokesman for the International Court of Justice at The Hague said. The trial will begin this summer at the Peace Palace. The question "Jesus or Barabbas?" is well-known as the q...
A study conducted by Vogue magazine has discovered the secret sexual desires of nuns. Usually believed to be repressed lesbians, nuns have in fact a depraved sexual appetite that must be sated with lots of 'naughty touching' and oftentimes much, mu...
A fragment of the supposed true cross of Christ purchased by Toothpick magnate, Woody Gutree, is being sold on the Christian Ebay, Ebayjesus.
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